Molina and company

 

Embracing calm

If you're used to action,  retirement will surprise you. The slowdown is beneficial but it can confuse you at first. Having spent years looking after deadlines and obligations you suddenly find yourself as the main focus of attention. 

Calming has been good and has smoothed the edges of my transition. There is less erratic bumping against objects which previously blocked it and clarity of mind has helped me fine tune a balance point. 

Older transgender people are often masters of denial and refusal to properly look after the self. Having made commitments to others we prioritized them while allowing dysphoria to fester in the background. We deftly put out fires which kept us busy and distracted. 

There is nothing which compares with the work on the psychology which must be remade in a way that erases all negative messaging regarding our nature with no early childhood programming more pervasive than that received by those of us born into mid twentieth century religious families. 

There can be no gambling now with going backwards because getting here took you so very long. 

You embrace calm.

Liberation day

It would be comical were it not so painfully tragic and idiotic. "Liberation day" came and went leaving Americans with the prospect that their debt load and everyday costs will go up. No one is allowed to tell the mad emperor that he is wrong and that he has no clothes. 

Tariffs are a tax on imported goods passed on to the consumer and you don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand it. They also historically do not work and will work even less in a deeply integrated global economy. But Trump is a hapless imbecile with a record of destroying his businesses and now he has set his sights on bankrupting the US economy. 

Not only is the economy largely service industry driven but if you were a manufacturer would you take 3 years and much capital to build plants in the USA only to see tariffs disappear on a whim or the mad king simply leave office? Of course not. 

But in this dystopian scenario the economy is going to be allowed to circle the drain at the same time as deep cuts are made to social services most needed by the poorest people. The spineless sycophants surrounding Trump can say nothing and it will eventually up to the people to later save what is left of their own country.

This kind of evil and stupid would be hard to believe even in a movie.

The social order

I read a comment which said "95% of your problems will be resolved by getting off social media and your phone". It might have been a stretch but it wasn't entirely wrong. 

Certainly we are more isolated and anxious than ever and our social interactions outside of work for many have dropped off a cliff. Our reliance on third spaces like church, sport leagues, social clubs, etc. is at an all time low. We need to return to face to face interaction for society to be healthy. 

People used to be more like predictable sheep because pressure to conform was so high. Thus they would attend church service because it was frowned upon not to. Ask them after the service why they did so and you would get a mixed series of answers some bordering on complete gobbledygook and yet they benefited from the group dynamics of bazaars, spaghetti suppers and coffee in the hall afterwards. 

As society has become more pluralistic and diverse those people who thrived on order are confused and even angry. They let out their frustration often anonymously on platforms where they can rage over types of people they have never met. No wonder disdain for the "other" is at an all time high. 

The population can predictably be divided into segments because the essential characteristics of human nature never change. Those who pine for black and white and to be led by the nose will never disappear because free thought and uncertainty are unappealing to them. Hence some form of return to the old ways which appease them is almost assured. 

Mark Twain said that it was far easier to fool people than to convince them that they had been fooled. 

He was absolutely right.

Backlash has begun

 

A word of caution

I spoke to an ex-colleague yesterday who I knew has a 16 year old transgender teen transitioning from female to male. They were already on puberty blockers but I was surprised to learn that they were starting testosterone and that surgery was being discussed. This colleague also knows about my history. 

I could see the hesitation and discomfort on his face. I too have some reservations given his son's tender age which I shared very carefully without any sense of alarm. 

The previous case I am familiar with with another colleague is someone who did the same thing who is now 27 (same age as my daughter). The transition happened in the early 20's and at last word they were extremely happy. One would never have known from a photo that they were born genetically female. 

Apparently the doctor has assured the family that the regret rate is very low when undergoing treatment through an approved clinic and yet the tender age is still of concern to me. Given the tumult of being a teen one could imagine a scenario where one could look back in regret. My lesbian niece, who is now 24, went through a phase of questioning her gender and thought the better of it later. 

If my generation had wheels firmly stuck in the mud with few options to avoid massive pain and disruption, it appears we may have moved in the other direction a bit much. 

If I knew this trans teen I would counsel he delay just a bit longer and chew things over before any irreversible procedures. Of course easier said than done to someone of that age who feels an urgency which may or may not be entirely warranted.

Cruelty

It's hard to understand what Trumpists see. I try to put myself in their place to find some relational territory but I cannot and remain baffled. 

The best explanation I have is that frustrated people need someone to enact vengeance on their behalf. They want their enemies punished and Trump fits the bill which is why at its core the MAGA movement is ostensibly about cruelty. That is, until it happens to them. 

A Maryland man was mistakenly sent to a Venezuelan prison through administrative error. He is father to a special needs child of 5 and married to a woman who has just lost her husband to both incompetent idiocy and cruelty. This administration does not believe in due process and bases their immigration policy on the type of tattoos you have. A gay hairdresser recently met a similar fate.

It's hard to watch Nazi Barbie Karoline Leavitt lie her way through pressers with such arrogant aplomb. She is empty headed and so the confidence is unearned. Her worn cross contrasts sharply against the message of the Gospels. 

It all grates so much against our sensibilities because cruelty is precisely the point.

Did you sleep last night????

Many years ago I suffered from severe insomnia which I made worse by obsessing over sleeping. The more I worried that I wouldn't sleep well that night the less I would and so it became a vicious cycle. 

It wasn't until I came upon an internet thread for insomniacs that I realized where the core of the solution lay. The posters were also obsessing and asking each other what magic pill or formula was working for some lucky person who had solved the riddle. 

I proceeded to let go of the pressure to sleep and told myself that eventually the body would take care of itself if I allowed it to and worked on relaxing the psychology. 

After many years of internet exploration and research into gender variance I eventually concluded much the same thing in that there was often a degree of obsession that wasn't always healthy. Some of it was justified due to a person being locked out of a solution that lay just beyond their fingertips but much of it was also due to self-inflicted paralysis. 

Fear of even stepping outside took on mythic proportions and thoughts about what a next outing might look like was over analyzed. Even some transsexuals planning their medical transitions turned their angst into all-consuming urgency that might have benefitted from a more steady calm. 

The approach with my dysphoria finally took a more organic and patient approach which involved letting go of much fear which then greatly reduced obsession. I came out to increasingly more people and realized that I had done myself damage for years by over thinking what didn't deserve so much drama. I arrived at the conclusion that suppression was as bad as a bulldozer approach that trampled over an already built life. Of course every person has a different life situation and varying level (or wholesale absence) of dysphoria as well as motivations. 

Today I am very much for early transitions (in the 20's if possible) or at least living authentically when one is sure because it avoids falling into many traps down the road. We have a much cleaner slate to begin with as well as the benefit of full transparency. 

I certainly couldn't have done that in the 1980's when I was in complete denial and the climate would have been corrosive, but certainly today the way is much more open and clear for people of any age to move forward with patience, maturity, self-respect and a little bravery all of which will be eventually rewarded.

Turnings

I watched a video recently about the Strauss-Howe generational theory which describes an 80 to 100 year cycle for the repeating of American and western history in general. Assuming it is correct we are nearing the end of a cycle which began in 1945 at the end of World War II and signaled the start of a boom. 

During this cycle there are supposedly 4 distinct "turnings" called the high, the awakening, the unraveling and finally the crisis. 1945 to 1963 was the first turning which culminated in the Kennedy assassination. 1963 to 1980 was the awakening during which women's liberation movement, Stonewall and the hippie movement happened. 1980 to 2008 was the unraveling which was kicked off by the Reagan election. The start of the crisis turning was the global economic crisis of 2008. 

If one goes back about 100 years from end of WWII you get the American Civil War and about 80 before that you arrive at the Revolutionary War. It may not be perfect science but it does align well with the idea of history recycling itself which seems to definitely be a thing. 

We see autocratic rule cede to more benign forms as well as times of economic prosperity giving way to austerity. 

If this theory holds true we are headed for a punctuation point (hopefully not a world war) by about 2030 to be followed by a renaissance where we re-enter a new period of human prosperity and peace.

Who's afraid of gender

Judith Butler perturbs the political right. She is correct to say that things are not going back into the bottle with imposed heteronormative norms for everyone. That ship has sailed despite the current backlash. 

She has become personna non-grata in the halls of the Vatican as well as within other institutions that align birth sex and gender to the point where they are one and the same thing. Not only is birth sex replete with anomalies including at the chromosomal level but expression, when left unrestricted, naturally falls along a spectrum. 

Most people in the general public don't follow or understand gender theory and I can arrest to this first hand from my many discussions over the years. Interestingly this includes some gender variant people themselves who have tried to define themselves in a way that makes sense to them which is perhaps just as well.

But you don't need to espouse an academic viewpoint to be happy in one's skin. We can increasingly try to ignore societal convention (which has laden sex and gender norms with political weight) in a world that increasingly sees and accepts more malleable approaches towards achieving authenticity.

Butler is clearly undeterred in her views even as they grate against the dogmas of very reductionist groups....

Before it's too late

Vivian Jenna Wilson is Elon Musk's estranged transgender daughter who he claims died from the dreaded "Woke mind virus". But it turns out that she is very much alive and well, posting as a retort to her father with an accompanying photo "I look pretty good for a dead bitch". She was interviewed recently by Hasanabi who let his audience see how charming and naturally sweet the 20 year old is. She serves as stark contrast to her charisma-challenged and ketamine-addicted parent.

Musk for his part has been busy meddling in and dismantling the US government under false pretenses encouraged by the tutorship of a clown president. Most recently he has been in Wisconsin hoping to impact a state election for a judge posting. He has a 1 million dollar cash prize to sweeten the incentive for one or two lucky people who voted for the "right" candidate. This should send chills down the spines of ordinary Americans who still haven't flooded the streets in anywhere near the required number. 

Comedian turned warrior Cliff Cash has been going hoarse screaming for help in that regard as he organizes protests in several cities to criticize a timid and cowed mainstream media. 

That fascism is installing itself slowly is beyond question but then many Americans aren't used to such a concept on their home soil. Never having faced a threat of this magnitude before, they must think it will eventually blow only to come to realization by the time it's too late to do anything about it.