Sometimes...

 

No one cared

Just minutes ago I was waiting for my bus and across the street (which was bustling) came walking a person who was some flavor of gender variant. I would estimate early 40's.

They had long lack hair with a shock of red. They wore a leather jacket, skirt, black leggings and boots and there was not a single doubt that they were born male. 

They walked confidently and went about their business. 

No one cared.

Better late

There is a time for everything in life and I wish I had absorbed that lesson sooner. Knowing what I know today and were I still young I would medically transition but that does not mean I regret my actions because my children are my pride and joy. 

I could have waited and disconnected myself from societal obligation but my generation didn't do that. We followed orders like members of a cult thinking that the prescribed formula worked equally well for everyone. 

It didn't. 

Today I know myself, how the world functions and how irrelevant its opinions are which isn't too late. It is simply better late than never.

Sarah

Sarah was an aerospace technician before running a YouTube channel full-time for several years now. She loves to work on cars. 

As I was watching, my transgender radar began to go off even if she looks the perfect picture of archetypal female. Somewhere in her thirties and standing almost 6 ft (something she confesses), she is lean and well proportioned but it was something about her voice which would be perfectly fine for most people that made me wonder. Of course I could be wrong but I noticed that in one of her videos where she gets personal, she mentions not wanting to get to deep into who she is. 

If she did transition it was very early and she seems to have a perfect balance between masculine and feminine energy. Yes, she is attractive but not a caricature of womanhood by any means. She is herself. 

Sarah loves cars and why wouldn't she.

The bigots in charge

It's going to be a long 4 years and so I hope your tolerance for hateful imbeciles is high...

The Karate Kid

 

Genius has a limit

Sarah McBride will be sworn in this January for her new role as a member of Congress and of course Nancy Mace is making bathroom use an issue because it's a red meat issue for the cult. The country has big issues to fix but none bigger than where Sarah pees. 

CNN covered the story and the comment section was full of the usual knuckle-draggers.

"We don't want biological men in women's spaces!" On the automatic presumption that Sarah isn't just there for a bodily function, wash her hands and leave. They would rather she use the men's room because she might be a predator. 

Transgender women all over America currently use women's washrooms and many completely fall under the radar although sometimes more masculine looking biological women are accused of being men and are harassed. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.

I always go back to the same Einstein quote "the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"

Thread

If you want to understand why I increasingly moved towards the main criterias of 1) primary motivation and 2) gender dysphoria presence and its intensity, look no further than the Reddit thread below (which was considerably longer). Apparently, granular definitions depend on who you talk to.

Fundamentally you want to target a peaceful and distress-free life. After that call yourself what you like. I stick to the term gender variance as being at the top of the tree to cover all expression and identity outside societal norm which increasingly sits on a bed of sand.

THREAD

Q: Why are crossdressers under the trans umbrella?

So I'm cishet and I saw crossdressers as a part of the trans umbrella, why? 

I thought to be under the umbrella your gender doesn't match your biological sex, but that doesn't hold up with all crossdressers. 

If a cis man puts on a dress but still wants to be called a man then his gender matches his biological sex. 

I'm not too well-versed on this type of stuff which is why I'm asking.

A: It's mostly a history thing when people inside and outside the community lumped all gender nonconforming people together with trans people. Personally I consider cross dressers welcome and accepted allies in trans spaces, but not under the trans umbrella

A: I will say that also that being a crossdresser can eventually lead you to the conclusion that you’re trans. That’s how my egg cracked 

A: I don’t think cross dressers generally are considered to be under the trans umbrella. If a cis person cross dresses that doesn’t make them any flavor of trans unless their gender actually differs from their assigned gender at birth.

A: Crossdressers are not considered trans. Historically the term transgender was a broader term for anyone who was gender nonconforming, including crossdressers and nonbinary people, while the term transsexual was used for binary trans people who physically transitioned. That changed over the years and transgender was used only for people who identify as another gender than what they were assigned. Meaning transgender now includes nonbinary and binary trans people, but not cis crossdressers or gender nonconforming people and transsexual is considered an outdated term now.

A: Long ago trans activist here. 

Once upon a time, we considered CDs to be “transgender, but cissexual”. When we lost transsexual as a word, we lost cissexual as well. Honestly I don’t miss TS much but I do miss CS, especially as it let us distinguish between cisgender and cissexual privilege. 

I transitioned in those days and still consider crossdressers/GNC people to be tg if they want the identity.

A: Cis crossdressers aren’t trans. They may be welcome in some of the same communities, but they absolutely aren’t trans. 

The same as cis drag artists. They aren’t trans. It’s a costume, a performance, they take it all off at the end of their session. It’s a different persona they put on for fun. 

My transition was because it was medically necessary. Being trans doesn’t tend to be a fun thing that people pick up as a hobby.

Etc....

Why still write?

After a certain period of time has passed, I pause and ask myself the same question: Why do I still write? 

I suppose it's because I enjoy it and the unfairness of the world gets under my skin. Pointing it out sometimes helps me process it and disarm the indignation.

Originally I wanted to resolve my internal conflict and demystify the subject of gender variance by trying to get to its roots and its various motivations; the most important of which by far is gender dysphoria. I wanted to separate fact from fiction without falling victim to any mythology and I feel certain I have achieved that to the best of my ability. 

Today I am living the way I was always meant to with only some small remaining cleanup left. I have never felt better in my own skin or more like myself. There is no more identity angst driving the impetus to write thoughts down and this clearer vision enables me to get the roots of issues better.

I don't see myself entirely stopping and the ups and downs of traffic are unimportant (I have experienced wild swings over the years). These are my private thoughts and would write them down regardless. Sharing them might strike a chord in someone and that is enough of a reason for doing so. 

Living alone for a number of years has been instrumental in finally getting to the core of who I am. I am 100% convinced that everyone needs that period of solitude as prerequisite to discovering their authenticity and what actions must be taken to honor it.

If I have in some small way helped you discover something about yourself then I am glad.

Required viewing

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