Cruelty

It's hard to understand what Trumpists see. I try to put myself in their place to find some relational territory but I cannot and remain baffled. 

The best explanation I have is that frustrated people need someone to enact vengeance on their behalf. They want their enemies punished and Trump fits the bill which is why at its core the MAGA movement is ostensibly about cruelty. That is, until it happens to them. 

A Maryland man was mistakenly sent to a Venezuelan prison through administrative error. He is father to a special needs child of 5 and married to a woman who has just lost her husband to both incompetent idiocy and cruelty. This administration does not believe in due process and bases their immigration policy on the type of tattoos you have. A gay hairdresser recently met a similar fate.

It's hard to watch Nazi Barbie Karoline Leavitt lie her way through pressers with such arrogant aplomb. She is empty headed and so the confidence is unearned. Her worn cross contrasts sharply against the message of the Gospels. 

It all grates so much against our sensibilities because cruelty is precisely the point.

Did you sleep last night????

Many years ago I suffered from severe insomnia which I made worse by obsessing over sleeping. The more I worried that I wouldn't sleep well that night the less I would and so it became a vicious cycle. 

It wasn't until I came upon an internet thread for insomniacs that I realized where the core of the solution lay. The posters were also obsessing and asking each other what magic pill or formula was working for some lucky person who had solved the riddle. 

I proceeded to let go of the pressure to sleep and told myself that eventually the body would take care of itself if I allowed it to and worked on relaxing the psychology. 

After many years of internet exploration and research into gender variance I eventually concluded much the same thing in that there was often a degree of obsession that wasn't always healthy. Some of it was justified due to a person being locked out of a solution that lay just beyond their fingertips but much of it was also due to self-inflicted paralysis. 

Fear of even stepping outside took on mythic proportions and thoughts about what a next outing might look like was over analyzed. Even some transsexuals planning their medical transitions turned their angst into all-consuming urgency that might have benefitted from a more steady calm. 

The approach with my dysphoria finally took a more organic and patient approach which involved letting go of much fear which then greatly reduced obsession. I came out to increasingly more people and realized that I had done myself damage for years by over thinking what didn't deserve so much drama. I arrived at the conclusion that suppression was as bad as a bulldozer approach that trampled over an already built life. Of course every person has a different life situation and varying level (or wholesale absence) of dysphoria as well as motivations. 

Today I am very much for early transitions (in the 20's if possible) or at least living authentically when one is sure because it avoids falling into many traps down the road. We have a much cleaner slate to begin with as well as the benefit of full transparency. 

I certainly couldn't have done that in the 1980's when I was in complete denial and the climate would have been corrosive, but certainly today the way is much more open and clear for people of any age to move forward with patience, maturity, self-respect and a little bravery all of which will be eventually rewarded.

Turnings

I watched a video recently about the Strauss-Howe generational theory which describes an 80 to 100 year cycle for the repeating of American and western history in general. Assuming it is correct we are nearing the end of a cycle which began in 1945 at the end of World War II and signaled the start of a boom. 

During this cycle there are supposedly 4 distinct "turnings" called the high, the awakening, the unraveling and finally the crisis. 1945 to 1963 was the first turning which culminated in the Kennedy assassination. 1963 to 1980 was the awakening during which women's liberation movement, Stonewall and the hippie movement happened. 1980 to 2008 was the unraveling which was kicked off by the Reagan election. The start of the crisis turning was the global economic crisis of 2008. 

If one goes back about 100 years from end of WWII you get the American Civil War and about 80 before that you arrive at the Revolutionary War. It may not be perfect science but it does align well with the idea of history recycling itself which seems to definitely be a thing. 

We see autocratic rule cede to more benign forms as well as times of economic prosperity giving way to austerity. 

If this theory holds true we are headed for a punctuation point (hopefully not a world war) by about 2030 to be followed by a renaissance where we re-enter a new period of human prosperity and peace.

Who's afraid of gender

Judith Butler perturbs the political right. She is correct to say that things are not going back into the bottle with imposed heteronormative norms for everyone. That ship has sailed despite the current backlash. 

She has become personna non-grata in the halls of the Vatican as well as within other institutions that align birth sex and gender to the point where they are one and the same thing. Not only is birth sex replete with anomalies including at the chromosomal level but expression, when left unrestricted, naturally falls along a spectrum. 

Most people in the general public don't follow or understand gender theory and I can arrest to this first hand from my many discussions over the years. Interestingly this includes some gender variant people themselves who have tried to define themselves in a way that makes sense to them which is perhaps just as well.

But you don't need to espouse an academic viewpoint to be happy in one's skin. We can increasingly try to ignore societal convention (which has laden sex and gender norms with political weight) in a world that increasingly sees and accepts more malleable approaches towards achieving authenticity.

Butler is clearly undeterred in her views even as they grate against the dogmas of very reductionist groups....

Before it's too late

Vivian Jenna Wilson is Elon Musk's estranged transgender daughter who he claims died from the dreaded "Woke mind virus". But it turns out that she is very much alive and well, posting as a retort to her father with an accompanying photo "I look pretty good for a dead bitch". She was interviewed recently by Hasanabi who let his audience see how charming and naturally sweet the 20 year old is. She serves as stark contrast to her charisma-challenged and ketamine-addicted parent.

Musk for his part has been busy meddling in and dismantling the US government under false pretenses encouraged by the tutorship of a clown president. Most recently he has been in Wisconsin hoping to impact a state election for a judge posting. He has a 1 million dollar cash prize to sweeten the incentive for one or two lucky people who voted for the "right" candidate. This should send chills down the spines of ordinary Americans who still haven't flooded the streets in anywhere near the required number. 

Comedian turned warrior Cliff Cash has been going hoarse screaming for help in that regard as he organizes protests in several cities to criticize a timid and cowed mainstream media. 

That fascism is installing itself slowly is beyond question but then many Americans aren't used to such a concept on their home soil. Never having faced a threat of this magnitude before, they must think it will eventually blow only to come to realization by the time it's too late to do anything about it.

Every phase

In one's early 60's your primary enemy can become cynicism. You've seen how society works and how its hypocrisy weaves its way into everything. You aren't necessarily aiming for new challenges or goals but want to establish a peaceful calm which rests on a foundation of experience and knowledge amassed over the decades. 

There is much to complain about the world and its lack of moral compass, critical thinking or empathy. So I work on combating the jaded outlook by looking for the gold nuggets which exist in many places. 

I was talking to my 25 year old son about his mental development and how working on his autism will pay off in the long run in building mental fortitude one needs in this life. There are no magic formulas or cures and so we develop coping strategies as arsenal to deal for what is thrown at us. I am proud how already he is honing his powers of observation which he will need for his journey.

My experience has taken away the element of surprise and I can see people coming a mile away which is both good and bad. It proves to me how every phase of life has its particular challenges.

Sport and trans

The whole transgender people in sport moral panic is a red herring created by idiots for other idiots. 

Not only is the transgender population already tiny but those who play sport are an even smaller wedge. There are states where there are bans and no transgender athletes to speak of residing within them. 

The idiocy runneth over. 

Not to mention that within biological sex there are great variances in strength and ability such that a tennis player like Serena Williams represents an example of a pinnacle which even many men couldn't defeat. This applies to many sports especially where brute strength isn't as much of an issue. Even then there are guidelines to check hormone levels to qualify for sport just like there are weight classes in boxing. 

Make no mistake that this issue is to feed red meat to distract the population as the treasury is looted. Picking on the smallest and easiest target is the way of the scoundrel. 

What I am saying here is that there are far bigger fish to fry and even some liberals are falling for right wing talking points which are primarily founded on hatred for a group of people they just as soon see disappear altogether. 

Regretably there is not yet a known cure for stupidity.

Dangerous

We are living in very dangerous times but we've been here before most recently and notably in the 1930's. 

Parts of the world are actively embracing authoritarian ideas including my neighbor the United States where half the country is more than despondent about the speed of the degradation. It started with a trickle which then turned into a stream and now becoming a river. 

Recently a young PhD university student who supported Palestine was picked up in the street by ICE and her family does not know where she is. A Hispanic family in Maine is also now without a father since he was taken away without explanation or due process. A neighbor of theirs made a tragic plea online for funds to help them and for fellow Americans to stand up and speak out against the Trump regime. 

Things are degrading fast. 

The mechanics of how this happens seems to be predictable. There is a huge gap between rich and poor where the ruling class feels nervous about losing its grip on power in the ensuing unrest. The social upheaval created forces them to react to restrict the population by introducing draconian methods. 

The current right wing backlash is against "woke ideology", diversity, intellectuals, immigration, the politics of sex and gender as well as reproductive rights. The truth needs to be bent in order to subjugate and suppress free thinking. 

The Trump regime wants to first abolish the government infrastructure on which the country subsisted for most of its existence. After that they can centralize power under the executive branch and ostensibly operate as a dictatorship. 

There are segments of the population which are highly energized but not yet with enough numbers and with state regime media FOX News serving as main propaganda mouthpiece, they reach the largest audience in the country which is older and generally not politically savvy or well educated. It is not much different than in North Korea state sponsored media where the dear leader is praised in adulation. Never mind that he is a drooling imbecile.

This Jewish college professor sounds the alarm for the attack on academia and higher education in general and he is not mincing words. Nor should he...

Caroline

Caro is a wonderful soul who has helped me more than she knows. There are people like this in the world who wear their heart on their sleeve and exude warmth and loveliness. Over the last few years we have developed a mutually beneficial friendship where we provide each other support. I came out to her as a transgender person last year and she has been nothing but over the moon supportive. 

At 46 years of age she has been working at the public market for years now but needs a change which I have been encouraging because life is short. Spreading wings is what we both needed and as I entered further into retirement giving each other little pep talks has been nothing short of therapeutic. 

I look for people like her in the world. They may not have book smarts but are endowed with an emotional intelligence that has far more value. Her open heart is what showed me that you can live with more risk and reap the benefits. Living in the shadows was no longer an option for me and she was instrumental in helping me move further along in my personal journey. 

Life isn't easy for anyone but we only make it harder by not trusting ourselves and our abilities. We can look back and understand what we could have or should have done but that only comes after living a while and comprehending the mechanics of how things work. 

We are a constant work in progress.

How AGP failed

For a while it sounded plausible. Patients were showing up at the CAMH in Toronto to see Ray Blanchard. Many were married and distressed from years of repression and wanted a resolution to fix their situation. For this was the 1980's and there weren't many options for gender variant people. 

During this era is when Blanchard developed his two type taxonomy of male to female transsexualism which was based on the core idea of sexual dysfunction both for his AGP and HSTS patients only for differing motivations 

But then over time something magical happened and we began to open up society to understanding dysphoria. Suddenly all patients were increasingly presenting to clinics much sooner and the social dynamic changed. Transitions were undertaken earlier in life and distress and trauma dealt with before they could become festering secrets. 

The only thing Blanchard did was rename transvestic fetishism and turn it into the main driver for transitions among (starting out as) heterosexual natal males. It wasn't exactly magic and disregarded gender dysphoria as a cause. Instead the dysphoria was supposedly caused by this sexually fueled mental illness that he proposed for which there was no proof.

Today we have an interesting situation where people show up on podcasts saying they suffer from AGP and want to rid themselves of it. They don't feel female but see it more as a fetish which it could very well be the case. Conversely we have young people transitioning and resolving or at least mitigating dysphoria and becoming happier. Many in this latter group would also have been accused of being AGP by Blanchard. 

Something smells rotten in Denmark because when your hypothesis is good it shouldn't break down like this over time. 

That this topic is exceedingly complex and layered wasn't of much interest to Ray Blanchard who also entirely disregarded gender dysphoria in natal females. It has resulted in his work being completely discredited even if gender criticals still rely on it as ammunition for their disdain.

It should be noted that the DSM talks about the presence of distress as a signifier of dysfunction but if today young transgender people are looking after their situation and improving life quality then what mental illness are we referring to exactly. 

The existence of fetishes is beyond question which is why I always go back to core motivation. But trying to use one catch-all easy fix to explain the complexity of this topic away turned out to be folly and, dare I say, wishful thinking.

Inconsistent

George Orwell understood humanity and the power of misinformation to control many people. Born at the turn of the 20th century in what was then British colonial India to parents who aspired to social status, he began to absorb from an early age how people conducted themselves in bizarre ways once they held increasing levels of power.

After seeing the front lines in the Spanish Civil War and witnessing the way it was reported on, he realized the power of propaganda and its ability to rewrite history. He also concluded that the elites were blinded by their thirst for power and found that ordinary people tended to possess more wisdom and emotional intelligence. 

This is what later prompted him to write "Animal Farm" and his even more famous "1984". The term Orwellian has become folklore and is regularly used to describe events and movements which are dystopic in nature. 

That people can be manipulated is not remotely in question, but what fascinates me most is how supposedly educated people can fall prey to caustic ideas. Yes, we understand that a profession does not give you insight into all topics but in theory exposure to critical thinking should help us to develop analytical skills to apply to other spheres. 

I have argued with ex-colleagues about political, philosophical and religious issues and have often come away dumbfounded. There is a conclusion reached in their mind beforehand which then impacts their reasoning. They look for evidence that suits their case rather than examine the topic from all angles. 

We all have blinders to some extent and, if we seek truth, we should want to work on them. 

I watched a video recently where a psychiatrist analyzed the allegiance to Trumpism by evangelical Christians where he proposed that if the person's childhood had been very emphatically black and white, they would be more likely to favor his authoritarian style. According to him, this would explain how they could disregard Trump"s odious and criminal nature by focusing more on his method of autocratic governance. Subtle greys don't work for these people and, despite his obvious flaunting of Christ's message of charity and forgiveness, they fall for his messaging. 

I think he is right and it is why we all must be careful to apply critical thinking to our belief system. To do otherwise, exposes us to extremist views where contradictions exist side by side and force us into convoluted logic.