We don't despair

I know it's hard to look past the insanity, the ignorance and stupidity of this awful timeline we currently live in but we need to try and find hope. Human beings don't change but their circumstances do and it can put focus on our worst aspects and magnify them. 

This era is anti-science and anti-intellectual. Experts are discounted and the opinion of idiots supercedes them which is very difficult to process if you were brought up with critical thinking and common sense as guiding principles. 

We don't just live with stupidity, we openly celebrate it which is why we are seeing the worst parts of humanity take front and center in our everyday life. Complete idiots fight for who can debase themselves the most while many of us look on in horror. 

Historically this tends to happen at the end of a cycle where chaos reigns until a new order is restored. It's as if a massive tantrum is required before the rest of us are fed up and reign in the excess. 

The new Superman movie is being hailed as woke by a radical right who need something to feed their daily outrage. The crime of the film is to play up the kindness and goodness of a character that used to represent American values but this incarnation flies in the face of their current cruelty and their stupidity and once again they are up in arms. 

The stupidest timeline.

We all need reminding

Cecile tells me not to fuss about my arms or my shoulders which is gratifying. She knows nothing of my gender history but builds me up by telling me to be proud and reminds me we are our own worst critics. I often say that here but it's nice when someone else says it to us. 

She is nice lady who values our friendship and I appreciate it her. 

This morning we took a little tour and coffee on the plateau Mont Royal and I acted as tour guide since I run around the city so much. 

It's part of the little things which bring me joy.

Unstoppable

 

The public knows

 

Milestones

I recently found a dress for the August wedding of my nephew and one of the ladies at a thrift store I frequent even helped me choose it. I tried on several before locking in on the one which fit me perfectly. 

I also needed a clutch type purse and found one. All my other purses are everyday fare and even they have been abandoned in favor of the backpack variety which is the perfect companion for someone who walks everywhere. 

The dress I chose falls just below the knee and has a slightly ruffled and draped neckline. To that I will add dangly earrings, a bracelet, ring, low heel black patent pumps and that clutch I just purchased. 

My friend Pierrette lent me a red scarf to wear on top of the dress as a shawl. I expect it will be hot so no vest over the dress. 

I would have been far more nervous going to this wedding had I not attended that retirement party of my best friend which boosted my confidence to yet another level; plus David and his bride have been nothing short of amazing with me and he even called to make sure I felt comfortable attending. My religious sister who is also attending is on board so I cannot ask for more. 

The ceremony will be held outdoors and the reception will be at a restaurant only a few kilometers from my house so I can always take public transit or a short taxi ride home if I want to leave early. However I am sure someone will give me a lift. 

There will be members of my family there which I am less close to who have never met Joanna and this will be their chance. 

Big gatherings are not really my thing, however this event will mark yet another important milestone in how far I have come which is why I so welcome it.

We screwed up

The middle class no longer exists. It got fractured and most sent off into the working class which increasingly has trouble keeping up. The tiny remainder climbed up into the affluent class which has no trouble with purchasing luxury SUVs and Porsche convertibles. 

The neighborhood of Montréal where I spent my formative years requires you spend 1 million or more to buy a house. The cars lined up in the street tell the story as do the gardens and renovations made to the mostly 1920's and 30's era homes. 

These are homes the generation of my children will not be able to afford as they will be sufficiently challenged paying rents which have increased to exorbitant levels. 

We messed up of course and we are now paying the consequences. 

We allowed a tiny fraction of the population to amass all the wealth while they threw crumbs at everyone else. They invested their money everywhere except on people who are now getting their pitchforks duly sharpened and have had enough. 

The US population is more than ready for the revolution.

Judging a book by its cover

Identity comes from within a person and is independent of how they look. This is why some people may present in a way you read as identity but aren't as attached as their appearance might suggest. In other words, looks can be deceiving. 

Some transgender people who transition may have less ability to blend into society than others who may have refined their cross gender expression to an art form and yet would never consider any form of transition. 

Identity is synonymous with investment.

This is why psychology overrides everything else and is what governs. Once you convince yourself of your identity status, the externals begin to matter much less over time (within reason) while confidence tends to increase because you know who you are.

Phoenix, Oregon

The film "Phoenix, Oregon" feels organic and warm. The characters are likeable and real and remind us of people we know; flawed, vulnerable and human. 

Bobby Hoffmann is all of us. He has dreams but not all of them worked out. He has potential but doesn't quite believe in himself and his abilities. He pines for the wife who left him years ago and writes her into the graphic novel he's been working on but is too afraid to share with the world. 

His friends have their own problems too but they are genuine and care about him. 

There is nothing telegraphed here and it's not typical Hollywood fare which is both its charm and saving grace. It's just a slice a life in a small town in Oregon and time well spent for us voyeurs. 

On Tubi and highly recommended.

The dark side

Why some people are fine with cruelty towards others as long as it doesn't impact them speaks to a fundamental dark side of human psychology. It is also the fuel that makes Trumpism run. 

Imagine being Latino and wishing those who are like you to have revenge exacted upon them. Later you are the one affected and it didn't occur to you that the inherent evil in the philosophy would touch you. 

"I paid my dues so if they end up in alligator alcatraz it's not my problem" 

Truly bizarre. 

Stupidity isn't simply the lack of intelligence but instead the ability to block out the obvious because your anger and frustration are much greater than your common sense.

Seven seconds

Recently Dove shampoo put out a seven second add featuring a transgender woman showing off her hair after using the product. 

The collective heads of the right wing exploded and they all went into convulsions promising boycotts.

Imagine having such teeny tiny pea brains such that you need to spend your time in perennial outrage. Wouldn't you get tired? 

Apparently they don't.

Surprises

Once you are past 60 there are no more obligatory targets to chase which can either feel wonderful or terrifying depending on your point of view. 

We talk about purpose and goals in life when maybe we should be thinking in terms of stability, calm and openness. Besides, life is perfectly suited and ready to detail your plans and by now we've lived it. 

In 1986 I did my first European trip with three friends who recently shared an email exchange. We were all in our twenties then and full of expectations many of which didn't turn out. Only one of our eventual marriages survived but there were other surprises in store for all of us. 

Had you told us about them then, we likely wouldn't have believed you.