Tolerance

They say happiness is a choice. Since life isn't going to stop throwing us curve balls, it is up to us to view the glass as half full versus half empty. 

Happy is perhaps also not the right word since we tend to equate it with joy; a feeling which only makes appearances on brief occasions. 

I prefer to think in terms of balance which already takes into account life's natural ups and downs. We factor in a tolerance for a certain level of chaos and decide to focus on the positive lessons we can draw from it. 

We also decide to jettison regret which only mires us in what we cannot change. 

The self-help books are bountiful and all claim to have the secret to reduce our anxiety, worry and depression. They want to tell you how they cure the natural human condition but they cannot.

Expensive

To end a conflict with Iran that Trump started illegally will mean paying them 300 billion dollars. Americans don't have health care but some of the money that could go towards it now goes as political reparation for his buffoonery. 

Everything he touches turns to shit. 

Had there not been a war, Iran would have been less powerful than they will now be. Plus they may still be in a position to set up a toll arrangement at the strait of Hormuz. 

The deal that Obama and John Kerry negotiated with Iran will turn out to have been far superior to this surrender. This is the price of impulse and listening to Netanyahu.

Owning the libs keeps turning out to be extremely expensive.

Earnest

Katie is one of the sweetest and most earnest transgender people I have seen online. There is zero pretense with her...

Approval

The only path to authenticity involves letting go of the fear of opinion. Without this ability, everything we do will be passed through a filter of outside approval. 

Our earliest life lessons involved performing to meet a standard. We had to behave in ways that gained us respect and love from our elders through a conditional performance. 

That Pavlov-like trigger doesn't disappear overnight and must be worked on such that our validation comes primarily from within ourselves. 

We risk not being liked or approved of and realize afterwards that we aren't worse for the wear. People-pleasing becomes much less appetizing once we know that many if not most don't deserve that from us. 

The gap between the social version and the real us must be as small as possible. Not because we want the right to be rude or loud at a party but because we don't want to need to fulfill what is expected by people whose opinions don't really matter.

The Bear

"The Bear" isn't a series about being an aspiring all-star chef but instead about the existential angst of being a human. Carm is a brooding young man with a long history of witnessing his own family's dysfunction which he desperately wants to disown. 

The older brother he idolizes suddenly commits suicide which brings his idea of opening a restaurant together to a screeching halt. There are episodes in this series that are hard to watch for their voyeuristic fly on the wall exposition of destructive family dynamics. 

Carm is left with his older brother's sandwich shop which he intends to convert into a fine culinary establishment worthy of his own vision. It's almost as if he wants to excel to wash away the sins he witnessed growing up. 

Highly recommended if you love strong character development and fine acting.

Adversity

One of the areas that really fascinates me is how human beings grapple with and overcome adversity. 

Everyone encounters it at some point and some are burdened from birth with challenges they must carry with them throughout life. 

I began writing in 2012 asking questions along those lines regarding gender dysphoria and there are countless other issues that people face daily which are far more difficult by orders of magnitude. 

Besides asking questions about where dysphoria comes from I looked at how each person dealt with it. I thought about personality profiles, family history, levels of indoctrination, personal resilience and other factors to see how each individual reacts to their situation within their particular era. 

Adversity can sometimes bring the best out of us by forcing us to mature mentally. We are presented a challenge where ignoring isn't an option and we grow as a result of the effort to problem solve. 

I've decided that all forms of adversity make us better and stronger people. It shapes our character, our resolve and boosts our courage. 

Often because, in the end, we have little choice but to persevere.

Life's what you make it

 

Perspective

One of the problems which can arise from being different is that it risks becoming obsessive. We focus on it so much that it takes over the psyche in unhealthy ways. 

I think the secret is to place it into context within the broader picture of who we are such that it doesn't become invasive. We give it the importance it deserves but nothing more. 

This can be very challenging during periods of uncertainty about what to do. We thought we were fine for a while but then ascended to a new plateau where it could become our primary obsession. 

It can be tempting to lose sight of the forest for the trees until we come to a fuller perspective of what constitutes our personhood. 

Retirement can definitely throw a monkey wrench into the way you understood your place in the world. Hence it once again became pivotal that I tweaked my psychology and find myself again within a wider portrait of what it means to be me.

Fail

The Trump name being removed from the Kennedy center wall is a sign of the times. The wheels are coming off the bus for a regime that is trying desperately to avoid a dreaded bout of stagflation. 

Imagine an economy where people can't already afford anything and yet inflation just keeps on rising. 

This is the direct result of letting incompetent fools at the helm. 

History books will not be kind to Trumpism but then people have the memory and learning capacity of gnats. It will tried again and again in the future with the same predictable failure.

This morning

This morning I left the house early wearing a colorful 3/4 length summer skirt (whereas I'm usually in earth tones), a simple black Tee, my most comfy ballet flats, gold hoops and my trusty brown leather backpack purse. 

I added very basic minimalist makeup, a costume bracelet and pinky ring and I'm out the door in less than 20 minutes. 

It's what I call comfortable feminine. 

Here is where years of daily routine becomes your friend and it takes much less time to get this part in order than the psychology which governs it all. 

That can take longer and require much more effort; especially if, unlike trans youth of today, we get a very late start in life on full authenticity.

Population bust