Carl Jung describes the collective unconscious as the whole of inherent universal traits that form part of the human experience.
They are so engrained that we cannot explain them. They simply exist during every era and every culture almost as an archetypal baseline.
It's as if this unconscious forms part of our DNA.
Our job is then to distinguish between and arrive at some understanding between personal consciousness and this baked-in portion such that we can arrive at life balance.
The more we disarm the better.
Over my life I learned I needed weapons to survive but I am slowly laying them down just enough. I can still possess a bite but I only need just enough for self-protection.
I see young transgender people almost daily (at least the ones I can detect) with loose and carefree energy which makes complete sense. They've had a less steep hill to climb; something I am extremely glad about. It means that the world has radically changed since I was their age.
Thus I have slowly realized that advocacy for transgender people need not contain venom I slowly fomented over decades.
I need to drop indignation which just ends up harming only myself. In my deep dive exploration over the years I allowed anger to seep into the process. Yes, I was gaining confidence but at the same time letting some negativity in.
The world isn't ever going to be completely repairable, but that doesn't mean we should allow our hope or empathy to be affected.
We can even feel sympathy for people we were certain should be our enemies; especially when we realize they are just as flawed as everyone else if not more.
Life can often be uncertain and so we tread carefully looking for steady ground where we can find it. Knowing how to proceed isn't always obvious and our choices often unclear.
However one thing stands out for me in that if we feel we wouldn't go back to a previous stage, we have done the right thing. Even if we aren't perfectly comfortable where we are right now, we are satisfied with the progress made.
If we can say that about our lives then that iterative process has paid off.
We may have been a little scared at each step, but we never felt completely stuck because we kept searching for answers and slowly progressed.
The people I know who are not retired operate on a different frequency than mine. Their time is spoken for in advance and many tell me I am fortunate.
I always say to be careful what they wish for.
Retirement is not easy if you have been accustomed to action for decades. Suddenly you need to define what your life means outside of all that tumult plus potentially deal with any unresolved personal issues.
When you get here you permit yourself to be in retrospective mode. You look back on your life and marvel at how you were able to get through all that.
It's a testament to human perseverance.
Many people can't wait to get where I am only to realize it's not what they expected. Like everything else, one gets used to it and the novelty eventually wears off.
Am I aching to return to career? like I need a hole in the head.
However when we stop, meaning and purpose are placed on the table and examined which is why I tell people to think about their change of life in advance.
"How are you darling!"
She approaches me with a fierce confidence and energy as I stood aimlessly for a moment in the Sephora downtown branch.
This transgender woman isn't even 30 which helps explain that ebullient attitude. She isn't small as when we are face to face, we are of similar height.
"Don't mess with my colour" I joke recalling how she helped me find a new shade when their product line had changed.
"Haha don't you worry" she says as she breezes by me briefly resting a hand on my shoulder.
Then she is off to another customer.
Being transgender involves a life full of second guessing yourself. There is almost no way around it.
Was I read? Do I "pass"? (a term I hate) Is my voice ok? Should I medically transition? What will my family and friends think?
The list goes on and on.
It is the usual human existential angst ramped up to an 11 and no matter your age or life situation there will be plenty of obstacles in the way.
I wish I could say there was a shortcut but there isn't. The only way is to slowly build a resolve made of steel that has you move forward because stagnating is the scarier of the two options.
I struggled like everyone else existing within this tiny fraction of humanity but I wouldn't trade climbing uphill for anything. It made me stronger, more resilient and less easily derailed by people whose opinions don't matter. Sometimes that ends up including family and people you thought were your true friends.
In the end no one can take care of you like yourself. You can hope to get assistance but you cannot count on it as a guarantee.
I've learned a lot about humanity in my life; enough to know that the general public is far more short-sighted and far less intelligent than I thought. It's helped me to let many of them go and to choose more wisely.
It's also taught me to be kinder to myself.
Belgium did the world a favour yesterday.
By defeating the United States at the world cup they eliminated the possibility of having that team's victory be stained by corruption. It also gave the rest of us the chance to enjoy a little satisfaction in witnessing yet again that whatever Trump touches turns rancid.
FIFA's nefarious shenanigans are well documented and seeing Infantino handing the criminal Trump a fake peace prize made us all more than a little queazy. It made the US elimination yesterday feel all the more just.
The striker Balogun is of Nigerian extraction and holds 3 citizenships. He was born in the US which is what qualified him for the team. The irony is that the very same birthright citizenship granted by the 14th ammendment is what Trump wanted the supreme court to overturn.
You can't make this stuff up.
In a sense, having all gender variant behaviour today fall under the banner of 'trans' is a bit unfortunate if only because we can lose track of where our focus should be.
No one argues against diversity and letting people be who they are. What we want is an open society where people can be authentic which regretably is still an unattained target.
We should want primarily to help those who need assistance. This means the focus should be on people who are struggling with identity issues who don't know or have access to how to address them.
The other day at the thrift store my daughter saw a very confident gender variant person of approximately her age who wasn't disguising their birth sex. They were simply expressing themselves in a feminine manner including sporting traditional women's clothing.
From her vantage point this young person didn't seem to need help. They were self-assured; certainly as much as anyone else in the store which I love to see as does my daughter.
I have a retired friend who I consider to be representative of the public. The nuance of the topic is lost on him because he hasn't had to think about it much over his life. I've had to patiently explain things to him which he then forgets. I find most people are like this and certainly my 90 year old mother (who is sympathetic) also is.
Gender criticals pounce on this confusion on every case which suits their cause to point out the folly of playing with a rigid binary which only existed because it was so strictly enforced.
However, I always go back to the most important and fundamental issue here which is: do you need help?
I certainly did. Now I'm just old and cranky.
The photo below should win a Pulitzer prize.
It is of a young black woman in the subway surrounded by cowardly white nationalists sporting masks. It makes one think about the US south in the 1950's when black students were spit on for daring to sit at lunch counters reserved for whites.
The current climate has encouraged all this ugliness such that on the nation's 250th birthday there are racists marching in Washington. The only solace being that at least they know they don't have the majority's backing; hence the masks.
No doubt, however, that they have plenty of backers at home cheering them on.
The racism problem in America never went away but was sufficiently swept under the rug until the timing for surfacing was once again right.
It just took someone to give them permission.
