The psychology of fear

The approach of gender criticals is to state that the existence of transgender people represents an imposition on their own rights (the rights of women in particular) which is completely disingenuous. 

The reality is that they are deeply perturbed by the idea of allowing other people to live freely because underneath they have own personal issues to contend with. Thus for them it becomes a zero sum game. 

My life experience has taught me that people who are well adjusted don't have any problems with the way others live. 

By using terms like "transgender ideology" which implies choice, the criticals paint transgender people as deliberate usurpers of society. They say we are undermining the governing rules for nefarious purposes rather than to uphold their own authenticity. 

I have always been fascinated by the psychology of people who are racist, homophobic or transphobic because understanding them sheds a light on the darker recesses of the human condition. 

Fear breeding intolerance is a universal tenet of humanity; one which regrettably we seem destined not to completely escape. 

Thank goodness then for the many people I know who save my faith in humanity.

Comparing notes

My son and I compare notes on our respective psychologies during our daily evening calls. We are each on our own journeys of course but there is much in parallel.

We are both not overly busy. He works towards a return to finishing his university while I make small adjustments to my life as a retired person. There is reflection process in both situations with the added challenges we both face infusing another level of subtlety which must be navigated. 

Our adult children are predisposed to offering us advice and they will make us think about the appropriateness and value in our approaches to things. We take in their words and weigh them with consideration because their opinions imcreasingly matter to us. 

It is what I like about their current ages.

We are no longer the type of provider they once needed and we can take advantage of a redefinition as they progress into adulthood.

They have their own wisdom to impart.

Empty space

Thomas is an overweight young man who escapes to the town where his deceased grandmother had owned a cabin. He lives there while he works washing dishes in a small local diner. 

One day he goes to the town laundromat where he meets Lilly a blind girl who works washing and folding. Her disarming frankness and confidence catches him off guard. 

Thomas doesn't have much confidence but is a good person and young Lilly begins to bring out his qualities ever so slowly. 

"Empty Space" is a short, touching small budget production which will surprise you with its earnest portrayal of humans trying to rise above their limitations. 

It reminds us how under the surface we all deeply crave the very same things from life.

On Tubi.

Overhaul

Trumpism is almost over but the clean up will take decades. 

The flaws in the system have been exposed so at least there's that. The fact that someone this deeply stupid, incompetent and criminal was able to climb to the top of the ladder means that a major overhaul is in order. 

Supreme Court term limits plus getting big money out of politics is just a start but they must happen if the average citizen is to matter once again. 

Fair taxation is yet another important step because the latest development of the world's first trillionaire should be a clue that something is deeply wrong.

I am not all that surprised

After interviewing Ray Blanchard and saying he suffered from what is ostensibly a fetish, Ray Williams is now going to transition again.

He still insists he is AGP and says his cross gender expression is basically sexually-fueled. Nevertheless he believes this is an intrinsic part of who he is and he will not disown it despite not having it be necessarily rooted in a sense of identity.

I have always known that some people are more primarily driven by arousal patterns but still benefit from self acceptance rather than trying to "cure" themselves as Ray had tried to do.

He correctly makes note here of the well known fact that transitioners don't regret their decision despite having lowered their libido via an HRT regimen which does tend to take the air out of Blanchard's balloon. Undeterred, Williams is nevertheless still a loyal disciple of what is at best 1980's conjecture.

However, fetish or not, Ray seems to have found a new formula. Who knew human beings could be so deeply complex...

Crash

 

Tolerance

They say happiness is a choice. Since life isn't going to stop throwing us curve balls, it is up to us to view the glass as half full versus half empty. 

Happy is perhaps also not the right word since we tend to equate it with joy; a feeling which only makes appearances on brief occasions. 

I prefer to think in terms of balance which already takes into account life's natural ups and downs. We factor in a tolerance for a certain level of chaos and decide to focus on the positive lessons we can draw from it. 

We also decide to jettison regret which only mires us in what we cannot change. 

The self-help books are bountiful and all claim to have the secret to reduce our anxiety, worry and depression. They want to tell you how they cure the natural human condition but they cannot.

Expensive

To end a conflict with Iran that Trump started illegally will mean paying them 300 billion dollars. Americans don't have health care but some of the money that could go towards it now goes as political reparation for his buffoonery. 

Everything he touches turns to shit. 

Had there not been a war, Iran would have been less powerful than they will now be. Plus they may still be in a position to set up a toll arrangement at the strait of Hormuz. 

The deal that Obama and John Kerry negotiated with Iran will turn out to have been far superior to this surrender. This is the price of impulse and listening to Netanyahu.

Owning the libs keeps turning out to be extremely expensive.

Earnest

Katie is one of the sweetest and most earnest transgender people I have seen online. There is zero pretense with her...

Approval

The only path to authenticity involves letting go of the fear of opinion. Without this ability, everything we do will be passed through a filter of outside approval. 

Our earliest life lessons involved performing to meet a standard. We had to behave in ways that gained us respect and love from our elders through a conditional performance. 

That Pavlov-like trigger doesn't disappear overnight and must be worked on such that our validation comes primarily from within ourselves. 

We risk not being liked or approved of and realize afterwards that we aren't worse for the wear. People-pleasing becomes much less appetizing once we know that many if not most don't deserve that from us. 

The gap between the social version and the real us must be as small as possible. Not because we want the right to be rude or loud at a party but because we don't want to need to fulfill what is expected by people whose opinions don't really matter.

The Bear

"The Bear" isn't a series about being an aspiring all-star chef but instead about the existential angst of being a human. Carm is a brooding young man with a long history of witnessing his own family's dysfunction which he desperately wants to disown. 

The older brother he idolizes suddenly commits suicide which brings his idea of opening a restaurant together to a screeching halt. There are episodes in this series that are hard to watch for their voyeuristic fly on the wall exposition of destructive family dynamics. 

Carm is left with his older brother's sandwich shop which he intends to convert into a fine culinary establishment worthy of his own vision. It's almost as if he wants to excel to wash away the sins he witnessed growing up. 

Highly recommended if you love strong character development and fine acting.