The Bear

"The Bear" isn't a series about being an aspiring all-star chef but instead about the existential angst of being a human. Carm is a young man with a long history of witnessing his own family's dysfunction which he desperately wants to disown. 

The older brother he idolizes suddenly commits suicide which brings his idea of opening a restaurant together to a screeching halt. There are episodes in this series that are hard to watch for their voyeuristic fly on the wall exposition of destructive family dynamics. 

Carm is left with his older brother's sandwich shop which he intends to convert into a fine culinary establishment worthy of his own vision. It's almost as if he wants to excel to wash away the sins he witnessed growing up. 

Highly recommended if you love strong character development and fine acting.

Adversity

One of the areas that really fascinates me is how human beings grapple with and overcome adversity. 

Everyone encounters it at some point and some are burdened from birth with challenges they must carry with them throughout life. 

I began writing in 2012 asking questions along those lines regarding gender dysphoria and there are countless other issues that people face daily which are far more difficult by orders of magnitude. 

Besides asking questions about where dysphoria comes from I looked at how each person dealt with it. I thought about personality profiles, family history, levels of indoctrination, personal resilience and other factors to see how each individual reacts to their situation within their particular era. 

Adversity can sometimes bring the best out of us by forcing us to mature mentally. We are presented a challenge where ignoring isn't an option and we grow as a result of the effort to problem solve. 

I've decided that all forms of adversity make us better and stronger people. It shapes our character, our resolve and boosts our courage. 

Often because, in the end, we have little choice but to persevere.

Life's what you make it

 

Perspective

One of the problems which can arise from being different is that it risks becoming obsessive. We focus on it so much that it takes over the psyche in unhealthy ways. 

I think the secret is to place it into context within the broader picture of who we are such that it doesn't become invasive. We give it the importance it deserves but nothing more. 

This can be very challenging during periods of uncertainty about what to do. We thought we were fine for a while but then ascended to a new plateau where it could become our primary obsession. 

It can be tempting to lose sight of the forest for the trees until we come to a fuller perspective of what constitutes our personhood. 

Retirement can definitely throw a monkey wrench into the way you understood your place in the world. Hence it once again became pivotal that I tweaked my psychology and find myself again within a wider portrait of what it means to be me.

Fail

The Trump name being removed from the Kennedy center wall is a sign of the times. The wheels are coming off the bus for a regime that is trying desperately to avoid a dreaded bout of stagflation. 

Imagine an economy where people can't already afford anything and yet inflation just keeps on rising. 

This is the direct result of letting incompetent fools at the helm. 

History books will not be kind to Trumpism but then people have the memory and learning capacity of gnats. It will tried again and again in the future with the same predictable failure.

This morning

This morning I left the house early wearing a colorful 3/4 length summer skirt (whereas I'm usually in earth tones), a simple black Tee, my most comfy ballet flats, gold hoops and my trusty brown leather backpack purse. 

I added very basic minimalist makeup, a costume bracelet and pinky ring and I'm out the door in less than 20 minutes. 

It's what I call comfortable feminine. 

Here is where years of daily routine becomes your friend and it takes much less time to get this part in order than the psychology which governs it all. 

That can take longer and require much more effort; especially if, unlike trans youth of today, we get a very late start in life on full authenticity.

Population bust

 

10 years on

A friend of mine tells me he has an upcoming date with someone he connected with online. He's 65, divorced and open but not remotely desperate. We have known each other for 40 years; well before either of us had married. 

This past April marked 10 years since I've been on my own with the desire to be in a couple only waning steadily over that time. 

I know myself much more, I understand very well the complexities of relationships and technically speaking I am a transsexual which only adds complexity to an already complicated area of human affairs. 

Other people don't make you happy. Only we can do that but in the best case scenarios we can meet someone who we have a deep affinity with; someone who makes us want to be a better person for them. 

As we age we increasingly recognize the people who don't fit that criteria. It's not about finding perfection but about a connection that cannot entirely be explained which transcends the fleeting attraction I haven't felt for anyone in years. 

It's not about someone we desire but about someone we didn't know could elevate us so in a myriad of ways.

Battery limits

A video from a channel called "Soul Kink" ended up on my YouTube feed. Presumably it was because the subject matter was an interview with a gender variant person. 

The first thing I noticed is that the host is a quirky free spirit with a lighting rod streak of white running through her hair. The second was that the interviewee was very relaxed in their feminine presentation and being under 40 no doubt helped his cause. 

Today's breed of gender variant person tends to be out to friends and family and in this case they were also out to an accepting partner. There was no conflict of core gender identity but instead a desire to openly expand their gender expression. 

Over the last few decades we have seen sex and gender be liberated to the point where secrecy and stigma have been largely eradicated. On the flip side, we seem to have increased confusion among some regarding what their motivations mean and what they should do about them. 

In this case the person understood their battery limit and was able to exist happily within its confines. 

What helps is to understand that its not about your label but rather about what measures need to happen to bring your psyche to where it needs to be.

In a nutshell...

 

Make it make sense

The flesh-eating screwworm is a parasitic fly, not a worm. Females lay eggs in open wounds or body openings of warm-blooded animals and the hatching maggots burrow into and feed on live tissue. This can cause severe wounds that attract more flies. 

This parasite is endemic to parts of South America, the Caribbean, and Central America. It had been eradicated from the United States however illegal cattle smuggling has driven a resurgence. 

Confirmed livestock cases have been found in Texas and New Mexico. Canada has, in response, temporarily banned cattle imports from the US to protect domestic livestock. 

In its infinite wisdom, the anti-science GOP decided that funding the departments that used to control such outbreaks, was unnecessary. Hence along with cuts to USAID, EPA, National parks service, etc. it decided that cutting taxes for the wealthy was a bigger priority. 

DOGE went after programs that cost little as a percent of GDP but delivered great returns for society. 

In this case it will be republican voting ranchers who will bear the brunt of the stupidity; their own plus the Trump regime's.

Don't ask me to make it make sense.