No way around it

Older transgender people will have more trouble adapting to existing at a point somewhere within the old binary than today's youth. The reason is simple: when we grew up there were two choices with no meeting of the poles being possible. 

We basically had men who dressed up as women once in a while and mostly in secret or transsexual people who transitioned fully. It was never that simple in truth of course, but from a bird's eye level it just seemed that way. 

Youth today more readily and openly embrace an identity somewhere between those two poles or they transition fully. The choices are there for them and they can pick and choose what particular procedure will get them to a goal. This is because their psychology is less perturbed by the constraints their elders lived under. 

My primary personal challenge was how I was going to live in the open as a transgender person who had existed for decades under a fixed model I was taught regarding what sex and gender were supposed to be. I had come to transition kicking and screaming always thinking I had to avoid it until I no longer could nor wanted to. 

I had constraints placed on me because of my age and decided on an approach that embraced authenticity; one which also required that I retool the psychology. 

It meant making  a life that looked different to the one I was forced into for many years but also required resiging myself to, what for a time, felt like an awkward compromise. 

This psychological adjustment has taken me the longest. I had the voice, clothing, mannerisms, etc down pat for a long time but the mind hadn't yet caught up to nearly the same level. 

I knew I wasn't going to ever hide any longer because I was sick of it but that also meant finding a plateau which included the blending of people I have met over recent years who don't know I am transgender and those who have witnessed the entire slow transformation process happen slowly. 

There are many more things to patch up due to our lived history and there is just no way around it.

Good thing

As I discovered more about how the world functions I began to take the approach that the masses are generally stupid and I went by exception 

"Prove to me you aren't one of the stupid ones" is what I adopted as a baseline.

This isn't very charitable at all. 

I have modified my approach to give the benefit of the doubt as a starting point since most people are well-intentioned even if they aren't well-informed. 

That they are susceptible to misinformation does not imply malice. Many are simply incurious and don't even bother with things outside their immediate sphere. 

Willful ignorance is what tips the scales for me which is plentiful in this world but definitely not in the majority. 

Good thing.

Small solace

We can all tell that things are off. Rates of depression and anxiety are through the roof largely because the times are so uncertain plus we are more disconnected from each other than ever. 

Thankfully I got all the way to my late 30's without cell phones and social media (which I don't use) and yet I am still impacted by this global malaise. 

My son is very perceptive and he struggles in this environment. As an introvert he needs to spread his wings and reach out to people but he finds it hard. It's the next step in his personal evolution. 

My generation was busy doing things and we took it for granted that the way the world operated was there to stay. We made social connections face to face but then many of us also wore heavy masks to fit within the structure we were expected to conform to. 

There is no perfect in this world. 

My son and I compare notes and I impart to him what I have learned in my almost 64 years. I tell him that the process of discovering the self will take him well past his forties and beyond. Exactly as my own father had told me.

However that is small solace for him at the moment while living in the most erratic period of my lifetime.

Patriotic

The Trump regime has underestimated Canada. We are nice people but don't piss us off. 

Well now we are royally pissed. 

Even as provinces pulled US alcohol from shelves in response to tariffs and the 51st state rhetoric, recent polling shows that 75% of us won't be buying any even if it becomes available again. 

We have learned an important lesson here and we are going to be bull headed until well past the expiration date of the current criminal regime. 

Carney has played his hand well. He is smart, tactful and experienced with those multiple trade arrangements with other nations now offering him leverage as the CUSMA talks become increasingly less critical. 

It leaves him room to hold out if a deal doesn't suit the interest of Canadians. 

US tourism has taken a huge plunge driven largely by Canadians and Europeans staying home. It's left many businesses that depended heavily on tourism dollars on life support. 

Trump's favorite word is "tariffs" which was largely responsible for helping the US into the great depression. A tax on Americans is precisely the wrong thing to do when your population is already struggling to pay for basic necessities. 

We don't want America our neighbour to fail but we aren't stupid either and when faced with this type of arrogance and aggression we aren't going to sit back and take it. 

In that sense we are as patriotic as they come because when our value system and moral code is under attack, we firmly stand our ground.

Wholeness

There are most definitely psychological consequences to a secret life. However that doesn't automatically mean we spill our guts to everyone we meet about things that don't concern them. 

The aim is to achieve wholeness and authenticity with self-respect as an anchor. 

The problem is that secrecy has a tendency to bolster shame and guilt which can greatly hinder self-respect. Therefore a balancing act should be sought which says that "my life is my business" without feeling that any part of our humanity is cause for embarrassment and shame should anything about it be divulged. 

If we don't fix that we will not attain optimum wholeness.

This does not mean  for example, that transgender people living in stealth come out to everyone. If they have their integrity and sense of self intact, they might be better off not doing so; especially in the current stupid environment.

Too much time on their hands

In the UK, the new official guidance from the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) (yes the irony in the title is delicious) as of August 2026 states that single-sex spaces like toilets and changing rooms across England, Scotland, and Wales should be organized by biological sex rather than acquired gender. 

This code advises that transgender individuals use gender-neutral alternatives or facilities matching their biological sex. 

The UK has opened a pandora's box here and potentially put many people in physical or psychological jeopardy. Obviously  transgender people who don't blend well will be forced into extremely awkward situations as well as gender non-conforming people who will be left wondering what to do. Some masculine presenting women for example will be left with a potential confrontation with an idiot who thinks she is male and disobeying the law.

The code cannot be fully enforced because that would require policing. Thus transgender people who have been using public toilets without incident for decades aren't going to feel compelled to abide by this code. If they already blend perfectly well into society in their gender identity and presentation, the idiocy inherent here would put them into a precarious situation just to satisfy the intended bigotry in this initiative. 

All of this will of course create problems where almost none existed before thanks to gender criticals with apparently too much time on their hands.

See why I focus so much on stupidity?

In the open

According to palliative nurses, the biggest regret of dying patients is that they didn't live life true to themselves. Instead, they lived trying to live up to the expectations of others whether that be family or society in general. 

This resonates because we are raised to conform and comply with societal norms. 

I am sensing that the next renaissance of human existence will free most people to be the most authentic versions of themselves. We are already seeing it in society as the diversity blooms beyond boundaries most of us who are older expected. 

This is the last great step in the cultural revolution of a humanity which will never be perfect. 

We will keep making mistakes but at least people will be doing it in the open.

See me

Life used to be slower and harder but we had less anxiety and depression. People generally worked within tight-knit social structures which brought them connection and validation. 

Perhaps you worked in a factory for 30 years next to people who became comrades and confidantes. That job has been outsourced to the third world or to a machine. 

Even my own industry at the start of my career was slow by virtue of the advent of very clunky and limited computers. We had no choice but work more meticulously thanks to limitations we now realize were strangely helpful. 

People need to be needed, seen and acknowledged. When you take that away they become despondent. When you add speed and efficiency but don't improve the other facets, you are asking for burnouts which started to happen about 10 years ago with great frequency.

We've been learning the consequences the hard way.

Toujours pareil

I probably pay more attention to American politics than is good for me. My interest was already there well before Trumpism but it spiked dramatically when I was able to see first hand, from just north of the border, how people fall for crooked despots. 

I have much less doubt about how it happens now. 

The soil is always ripe when a nation is in decline. Someone comes along and feeds into the desire of people who fall for slogans and quick fixes. It works particularly well when the leader shows you people you can razor focus your anger on while you are being distracted. 

When Hitler came to power, Germany was in huge economic trouble. They had massive inflation and their currency kept devaluating. Under this pressure came someone who said he was going to make Germany great once again. Things only escalated from there to a catastrophic downfall. 

Trump isn't Hitler but what they both share is a malevolent narcissism sourced in deeply troubled childhoods. The ultimate victims of their psychopathy are the people least deserving of it which is always the way of history. Some of these people are gullible to a point that is hard for us to fathom.

We are going to finish this era in chaos and turmoil with the US having one of the biggest downfalls. It will be their chance to rebuild again as the worst intentioned members of the boomer class  which Trump belongs to, slowly expire. 

But no matter the era we live in, there are traits we cannot erase from our DNA; traits which make us predictable and prone to self-sabotage. 

Its just that during the golden periods, we manage to distract ourselves just enough to not fall prey to our worst instincts.

A wise philosopher said...

 

Turning point

Once "what will people think of me" becomes much less important than  "what do I think of myself" you have reached a critical turning point. 

You are on the right track. You've turned a page.