A full face

Gender variant youth don't require secret lives. This means that the spectrum which has always existed between expression and identity is for them an open book. 

Whether they transition or not simply depends on the existence and intensity of their dysphoria.

They avoid what could have been years of therapy down the road plus provide transparency to potential partners right from the outset. 

Self-acceptance doesnt need to be delayed and their variance matures along with them in a healthy way rather than remain stunted. Thus, gender variance now has a full face in society where its various shades are exhibited without people even bothering to notice. 

Two mornings ago on a busy metro platform I briefly locked eyes with a tall and serene GenZ who seemed to perfectly straddle the line between male and female.

Perhaps they were in the process of transition or not (their own long hair nicely framed their face) however it didn't matter. 

Either way, no one cared.

Looking around

Too much focus on the self can be unhealthy; just as much as not enough can be. 

We want to find a balance between being an asset to others while not abandoning our own psyche; probably one of the most difficult things to do in this life. 

Focusing too much on the self can lead to narcissism where that excess energy would be best served in being of service to others. When we have a personal riddle to solve we can turn it into an endless cyclone of energy which prevents us from looking outwards at the bigger picture. 

I feel that getting rid of much of our self-conciousness is a big part of the answer. We stop dissecting how people perceive us and are then more free to calmly look around.

A coming reversal

We may be slowly returning to an era where expertise begins to be important again. Platforms where people talk out of their rear ends are beginning to lose power as Trumpism begins to sunset. 

For years we have been subjected to a type of "confident stupidity" where things are said with enough chutzpah to convince people who aren't particularly adept at critical thinking. 

We have more information at our fingertips than at any point in human history which is regrettably not a cure for willful ignorance. 

When I was younger we looked things up in text books written by people who understood the subject matter but we somehow ended up collecting and trusting information from idiots on Facebook.

Stupid leaders weren't far behind.

Without a net

When we transition we are operating without a net; without training wheels if you will. 

The analogy is that we are left more free but also potentially more insecure. We have removed constraints which were at once both comforting and restricting 

If we are older this will feel even more uncomfortable for a time because we have been accustomed to abiding by gender rules since our birth; rules that we dare not contravene until we are older. 

Living part time is not at all the same because I lived it. I hadn't planned to get this far but once here it feels entirely correct. The problem is getting rid of gender muscle memory which was engrained to the point where nothing else is comparable other than perhaps having being in a cult for decades.

It can at times feel disorienting and scary while other times provide a sense of rightness that can be unparalleled.

It just proves that we are human and there is no perfect cure for self-doubt.

Target

Online progressive Hasan Piker is being targeted by the Trump regime because he went to Cuba to provide assistance and shine a light on the American sanctions and their impact on the locals. 

He is being made an example by focusing on the fact he may or may have stayed at a hotel which was off limits to US citizens. 

This is of course a ruse to intimidate him. 

Piker and other progressives have been a thorn in the side of a criminal administration hell bent on enriching themselves plus take a blow torch to American democratic norms. 

Nothing like a little harassment which will only end up backfiring spectacularly as the midterms approach. 

Piker has a very large mostly young audience which will only become increasingly hostile to what has become a crime syndicate in need of disbanding and prosecuting in what's left of the legal system.

Expectations

The more we become untethered from societal obligation, the more expectations for our lives should come from within ourselves. 

These demands should be ideally rooted in our moral values, public comportment, attachment style, etc ;things connected to our internals rather than the physical traits that the world sees. 

We draw strength and focus on what makes us better and healthier individuals rather than chasing the will of a fickle society. 

We see how the world operates in its chaos and confusion and choose instead to focus energy on the things we can control within ourselves.

Air out of a tire

Repressed anger in older transgender people is very common and is frequently a complex mix of gender dysphoria, the stress of being a minority, grief over lost time and inadequate levels of acceptance from friends and family. 

The lack of support and resources over decades can build to a crescendo and once major life distractions are removed there is no way to avoid fully facing it. 

I've had to distill my frustration very carefully over years especially as I entered retirement. It's like slowly letting air out of a tire. 

You get by for years taking the euphoria where you can get it and suppressing dysphoria through immersion into everyday life. 

However, one day you finally realize that there is nowhere to run or hide from it.

Licking our wounds

We are allowed to lick our wounds once in a while and even feel a little sorry for ourselves. It's a good way to relieve the pressure. 

We may even feel justified especially if we are someone who tends to be a problem solver for others. We may not feel we get much in return and thus pat our own shoulder as substitute. 

Life brings enough challenges and when they sometimes converge all at once, we can take solace in being our own friendly ear. 

This takes practice since our penchant for self-criticism is our natural baseline as humans. 

However, we are our own best resource and it makes sense that this include some tender loving care for a human being who isn't perfect but is trying to do their best.

Le fil conducteur

After some months of break and then starting to blog again, my traffic is currently at an all-time high. I haven't changed anything other than make my writing even more expansive than it's ever been. 

I write to understand and deconstruct things. I want to analyze concepts and ideas by removing the mythology around them to whittle them down to their essential core. 

I want to find "le fil conducteur" as we say in French; the basic wiring which provides the electricity. 

Human beings are often about simplying complicated topics so they can move on from them. Public policy is then often written without a full comprehension of the intricacies involved. 

Sadly, more often than not, people have agendas.

Transgender issues have been a perfect lightning rod for reductionist thinking from all sides. Battle lines were drawn with convenient memes and titles to match however the truth is always far more complex and nuanced than our world desires. 

This type of approach has been applied to every other subject matter which impacts human affairs. We can't be bothered with nuance and subtlety because it's far too pesky.

We want to simplify what defies simplification so we can move on.

Femininity, masculinity and dysphoria

I am increasingly of the opinion that gender dysphoria acts and should be considered, if not entirely, then mostly independent from the degree of masculinity or femininity that people exhibit. 

This would help to explain why most masculine women and feminine men can feel entirely comfortable with birth sex and operate in the world without the dissonance of dysphoria. 

Some gender variant people even blend in much better than some transitioners and yet have no problem sticking to expression. The latter however, must act in some form to deal with an incongruence to quiet a storm in their heads. 

Some transitioners even end up living in jeans, T-shirts and sneakers (like many genetic women) proving that increasing their outward feminine expression is not their primary goal. 

Instead it is about achieving harmony between mind and body giving credence to the concept of dysphoria as innate birth condition which, as Harry Benjamin found over his career, tends to operate on a spectrum. 

Feminine and masculine energy can and should be much more relegated to the sphere of expression.

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