People are Understanding

Joanna did not used to be a real person; at least she wasn't supposed to be. She was originally meant to be a stand-in for my requirement to deal with my gender dysphoria; a nameless character birthed in early childhood via my mother's closet. As time goes on however, we begin to meet people and make friendships and suddenly in mid life you are fleshing out a being that wasn't supposed to be the real you.

The fusing of all aspects of who I am continues still but is now it is in the refinement stage. The psyche needs to repatriate and coalesce everything such that there are no loose threads hanging about that might undo the entire vestment.

I realize now that thinking in terms of two personages isn't the most healthy way to be a transgender person although I completely understand the need to compartmentalize because I was forced to at one time. The worst part of that was the secrecy which eats away at your confidence and makes you feel like no one will see and accept the real you.

I could not have been more wrong and people have exceeded my expectations mostly because I made the mistake of not giving them credit for being the caring and intelligent beings that they are.

So even if your gender variance is not steeped in core identity and you consider it simply an occasional guilty pleasure, it need not matter. Good people are much more understanding than we think they will be.