Wednesday, February 21, 2024

That we are living

If we are waiting for the entire world to accept us before living then might as well give up now because it's just not going to happen. The best we can hope for is to develop a strong sense of self which can withstand the odd slur and even be able to brush it off.

I have found such peace in coming out that I cannot imagine going back into a closet which is why I encourage you to take little steps towards what you consider to be your desired baseline. Every nightmare scenario I imagined was proven to be completely wrong and if anything I have been embraced for what people tell me is my bravery. In reality we are no braver than anyone else only that after a while the fatigue of hiding works as a form of Chinese water torture where, near the end, each drop becomes exponentially more traumatic than the last.

My confidence was finally bolstered by a sense of outrage which saw hiding as a form of ultimate self-rejection for we have the same rights as any other human. That indignation has now been permanently stamped on my personhood such that I carry myself with an air that dissuades those who might be tempted to utter some nonsense. They can smell it.

Nevertheless I was often proven wrong in thinking that I had been "read" and would get older ladies commenting on my height rather than questioning my gender. I learned to relax and rid myself of the instinct to think the worst in people. In fact most of them are rather nice and some are downright exemplary.

We don't stop living because a minority of society is jealous that we are truly living and they are not. We live in spite of it.

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