Our psychology versus society

Imagine a young girl growing up in the 1960's who likes tools and playing rough sports. She is dissuaded from doing so by her loving parents who worry about societal rejection. They want the best for her which often means getting through life with the least amount of hardship. Her peers begin to call her a tomboy and make fun of her proclivities. 

Her interest in these things brings her joy but the rules don't care about her psychology. The rules demand adherence and the pushback might produce distress where none would have existed had she been left alone. 

Societies didn't set rules based on logic or common sense but through the lens of power dynamics which benefited them. Roles were predetermined with birth sex often a major deciding element in what was expected of each individual. That this structure didn't allow for the expected and natural variability in humans didn't factor into the equation because most people adhered to rules through fear of ridicule. 

Over the last 50 years we have slowly dismantled the previous rigid model and people who did not fit comfortably within it saw increasing levels of relief except it didn't happen quickly enough for many. They still took a beating because of the gap between what their psychology required and what society demanded. 

Therefore when examining our own psychology we need to ideally do so in a vacuum that disregards the often inconsistent and irrational demands built into our cultures while knowing that disobedience has varying levels of consequence.

The key is to achieve authenticity and contentment while removing distress which requires clean up of any childhood trauma.