Pendulum

If we return to the three elements which constitute gender (ie. identity, presentation and role) we can see clearly that they mix differently in each individual. I know enough gender variant people now (here I will leave out my medically transitioned friends) who exist on the identity/presentation pendulum with some presenting full time, others part time with the identity aspect varying from having it be a guilty pleasure to bordering on strong dysphoria.

That this is hardly surprising is an understatement, because not only are these variables mixed in differing proportions but the social circumstances and rearing of each person are unique. This is why making comparisons is often very difficult and we cannot assess ourselves based on the experience of others.

What has always interested me most is the element of choice and how much can be exercised comfortably by each person. For example, I have met people who are happy with two outings a year but also people who perhaps border on transsexualism. Obviously the former appears to have the greater choice which takes me back to the question of identity. In other words, as the need for expression increases is it always tied to an increasing sense of identity or do some, given an equal level of investment, simply need more expression to be happy.

When I was in my teens I thought I suffered from an uncontrollable compulsion even as I knew my gender feelings dated back to earliest memory. I know many older trans people also fall into this camp where their sense of identity is confused for habitual behaviour which they believe can be curbed.  That this is less likely to occur today is because trans kids are identified early and much of that trauma is avoided as they move into adolescence.

There are people whose cross gender expression is less tied to identity which is fine provided they can understand this at a visceral level which isn't always obvious and, for many, is the hardest part of all.