Guardrail

In many ways being a trans person with guardrails is easier because I lived it. You might feel safer being yourself at home, you have a partly or outright non accepting partner, you feel more comfortable in like-minded groups, etc.

My guardrails are completely off with the combination of retirement soul searching and introspection demanded by my dysphoria working in tandem and showing me there is still work to do. When we are in any way constrained we look for openings but without borders we are forced into making sure the breaks still work because we don't want to roll down any embankments.

Many of us older trans folk who in some fashion led a semblance of a double life have more work to do on the psyche and, although it may at first seem like what I am embarked on is just some clean up, it is considerably more involved.

Some gender variant people seem relatively content with compartments (and more power to them) but it becomes increasingly apparent to me that, especially without guardrails, I've never been one of them.