Foibles

I've been wary of people my entire life. Beginning in youth I saw cruelty in both children and adults and began to understand how societal power dynamics work. If you are naturally shy it only makes things worse for you of course but I was observant and learned to navigate to avoid conflict. Undoubtedly my aversion to groups and groupthink was first formulated there and I worked on learning the piano and painting as a way to occupy myself and perhaps revel in my nature as the introvert who could occasionally fake being a social animal.

Today I look at society much differently of course and childhood fear has been converted into life experience partly colored with a weary cynicism I am working to undo. People are mostly good but we are heavily influenced by our childhood experiences which oblige the development of defense mechanisms that become so reflexive we don't notice them.

I used to greatly admire intellectual prowess in others (perhaps I should blame my father) but I now look much more for kindness and the type of social wisdom in others that forgives people their foibles and indiscretions. For we are all just trying to do our best.