"If you were a man"

Sylvie, Pierrette and I were talking over Friday morning coffee when the subject of my continuing to work as a consultant into next year came up.

"You know if you were a man you would more easily be able to negotiate a higher rate" Sylvie said in French; her words just hanging in the air for a moment before I addressed them. There was no special significance to her statement as there once might have been.

I had nothing to do with my genetics but then I had also stopped worrying about "passing" quite a long while ago which only made me blend in all the more. I realized I had simply needed to focus on who I was rather than what I wore or sounded like to the world.

That Sylvie's statement no longer held special meaning meant that I was safely at another place where I had let go of much fear and could truly be myself rather than think I was putting on a costume. All people, transgender or otherwise, should just focus on their internal journey and leave the rest as secondary importance because it ultimately is.