Messy

One of the things I was told after 3 months of weekly sessions at the Montreal General Hospital gender identity clinic was that I had supressed anger issues and they were right. I did.

The years which have followed since have been about releasing it like one lets air out of a balloon all while still cognizant of the fact that much about the world is disappointing. It has been about coming to terms with reality while working on and fortifying the internal sense of self.

When you live as restrictively as I did you encourage the developing of frustrations and working your way back from them turned out to be a bigger task than I had expected. The last 16 months have proven to what degree there was still work to do.

The good news is that I am increasingly patient with myself and have let go of the need to control the environment around me. Life is messy and that is all right.