Plateaux

I'm always fascinated with the plateaux of gender variant people. They are almost always a combination of life constraint and individual satisfaction of where one is at. Being an older transgender person I have lived that experience myself and now look back on it with a more analytical and less emotional lens.

Many of us married thinking that all this was no longer part of the picture only to discover that it wasn't true. However for some the ensuing balancing act worked while for others it was a miserable failure. This should be the expected result given that we are unique individuals each with very particular life scenarios.

I think about this model while realizing that today's youth don't need to face it. They simply announce themselves at the outset and attract a partner who has no issue with who they are. There is no slow reveal as one peels an onion because it is not required. They are already at self-acceptance.

Some older transgender people moved on to transition and kept their spouse (a tiny minority) but most settled for some version of an often stilted formula which more often than not included much secrecy; something which today is almost entirely pointless.

The problem is that once someone is ensconced in a precariously balanced situation there is no easy remedy especially if risk of losing something is off the table. So if one found a less than perfect scenario they could tolerate, they simply lived within their plateau and did not budge unless their particular level of gender dysphoria forced them to act.