When you are unsure where to land

I know why I became so interested in gender variance and its not just because of my natural curiosity. It is because I felt my situation was so complex. I was so heavily programmed against it and yet had feelings that went back to childhood which clashed against my religious and strict upbringing. I would not allow myself to address the core of my dilemma until I had proof that a fine-tuned and customizable approach to this was possible.

I solved the bulk of the issue but the interest remained and, even if my solution was less than perfect, it ticked most of the boxes of what I required.

In that Donahue show from 1989 you had some people happy with their well-timed episodes of expression like Joanne while some were equally so with their identity-driven certainty that medical transition was the right call like Eve (who I more relate to). My being stuck in an uncertain quagmire for a while reminded me how complex sex and gender can become when you already don't readily fit within a certain bandwidth and even then you are unsure of exactly where to land. Doing nothing was definitely not an option.

It's why sometimes the answer can take a while.

By the way, RIP Phil Donahue.