The hamster wheel

At 61 there isn't much that I fear in open society. Of course I've kept the common sense which tells me to avoid dangerous situations but I've greatly bolstered a confidence which has me disregard what years ago would have given me pause. Living with any kind of unjustified fear is incredibly draining.

My life thus far has been equal parts challenging and rewarding and now I can identify very quickly how to cut to the chase. I can see things coming a mile away and identify how I need to react to save both time and needless energy.

What is left is disarming the weapons I used to defend myself as I was developing myself into an integral person. There is power in me but it is still tainted by a disdain for certain types of people which I could easily dismiss as deplorable. The bully archetype still gets under my skin except that now I recognize that underneath lies very feeble confidence. Stupidity is generally not a genetic trait but instead an acquired one.

As one relaxes into retirement there is plenty of time to work on the psyche and aspire to a greater sense of appreciation for the fragility of others. Everyone suffers except that when we are in the throes of our own while running in our societal hamster wheel, it is much less easy to be empathetic.