Nuances

One of the narratives I sometimes see written about is having respect for a spouse and avoiding them witnessing the gender variance of their partner. But if the latter forms part of your identity rather than a past time, then we are accepting that our identity is objectionable and must live with that reality to remain intact as a couple. 

Gender variance has a very wide berth of behaviour within it where some see it more as hobby whilst for others it forms an integral part of their core identity. Obviously those who are much more invested are the ones who will have the most trouble reconciling that they aren't exactly embraced. 

Years ago I had dinner with a person who identified as a "crossdresser" (in quotations because it conveys absolutely nothing) and his wife and when the evening was over she told me politely that she was happy with the way her husband was but would have had more issue with someone like me. This was during a period where I was far less along in my journey and yet the differences in our stories, experiences and viewpoints were clearly stark. 

We can have trouble with generic labels that are too expansive and don't adequately capture details of lived experience and its nuances. Because in the end it is those details which make all the difference and are far more consequential.

Today's youth are less likely to live a segmented and compartmentalized life because they won't need to hide in the first place and can live openly and honestly from the start regardless of their place on the spectrum.