A line in the sand

I don't advocate for transitions per se but for people to live openly as themselves and if that is what is required then so be it. 

I felt constrained growing up, as did many people of my era, and it wasn't healthy. As a result you develop internal shame and guilt which then necessitates much work to eradicate. I would offer that many people live with some combination of the two for various reasons. 

To repair the psyche we need to bolster self-respect and confidence which then offers us a way forward. Our mind is then clear to find a solution which maximizes authenticity. 

Imagine letting someone else dictate your authenticity and set limits on who you are. That isn't workable for you but before you discuss what makes you authentic with someone else, that internal dialogue and self-definition must first be completed by us. 

Last night I spoke to my daughter about how her relationship is going and how Ben had seemed to draw a line in the sand over an issue she wasn't prepared to accept. I advised that anyone who sets an ultimatum is then opening themselves up for rupture which is why reasonable compromise is always the way but not to the point where who you are is lost in the equation. 

It is why human relationships especially amorous ones are one of the most complex things I can think of.