Harmony

As I've said here before, primary motivation for cross gender expression is the most important element in understanding yourself. We can be motivated by the feeling of the clothing, its purely a sexual kick for you, you like the sense of rebellion that playing with gender brings or perhaps you are motivated by a deep sense of identity. The reality is that because people are so unique, the answer is that it can be either of those things or something else I haven't mentioned.

When I was on the fence about medical transition, I considered many factors but paramount was where my sense of identity resided and what it needed for me to baseline into a more peaceful existence. My dysphoria still exists but it is now much better managed which took years of trial and error. This last phase is the most important because there are no obstructions and dealing with the remaining conflicts inherent in our education versus our instincts is what is left for me. Had I been born in a different time there would have been less baggage for me to parse through but then better late than never. If younger I may also have taken a different path.

Your own exploration should focus on motivation and what drives your impetus towards cross gender expression. That understanding will be the biggest contributor towards coming to harmony and balance in a world that worships adherence to conformity.

But to achive that harmony, we first need a brutally honest appraisal of the self.

Nothing is more important.