At close range

We don't see ourselves the way others do. They may see a woman they have befriended but sometimes inside we wonder what they are thinking and if they detect something is off.

Recently I had a lunch with Louise and one of her friends I was going to meet for the first time. That little bird showed up briefly once again and at this proximity you again doubt yourself because you can't help it. Still I am myself and don't show them that there is anything up with me. Other women are the ones I concern myself the most especially at such close and personal range. The three of us are 58, 60 and 63 respectively.

After the lunch I got a wonderful text from Louise letting me know what a nice time the three of us had and how her friend enjoyed meeting me. I was relieved.

I have not yet told Louise I am trans but don't discount doing so at some point. Like other friends I have made while I was still working on myself (we are always a work in progress) there is some trepidation there. Maybe chalk it up to my generation's fears.