Double edged

Family is often a double edged sword for partly or fully actualized transgender people. They may be a great source of support but also a reminder of a life we don't want to go back to or even a source of rejection.

During the pandemic the stark realization that I was moving to a new point that didn't coincide with the life I used to lead became evident. We were all sequestered and that space allowed us the opportunity to take stock of our lives and dig deeper into the psyche.

Now I can see more clearly that living inside that orbit of expectation I had helped to feed into no longer works. Also what I used to perceive as acceptance on their part was more of an avoidance which was justified by everyone having busy lives. There had not been so much as an olive branch save for the sister who had most tried to change me who has now become an ally. Out of the five siblings this means I have kept two who I can openly discuss and relate to plus present as myself.

Your mileage may vary but we need to look after ourselves and although we may wish the best for our families we are under no obligation to feed into a narrative that brings comfort only to them. For the time for that has passed for me.

Things may change in the future and I will open to whatever comes so long as it's right for me.