Lest ye be judged

Cross gender expression is only designated a disorder or paraphilia when the individual (typically post orgasm) experiences significant distress. This is in contrast with transgender people who may experience arousal within the context of their living authentically but it is not at all a sought after primary goal.

I have written before many times that the sexuality cannot readily and neatly separated from the full human identity. Hence a transgender person wishing to be the opposite sex since early childhood could, upon entering puberty, have those feelings tinged with sexual energy. In fact we know this for an absolute certainty in many cases.

Very often, older trans people would have had trouble distinguishing between whether they had a fetish versus the experiencing a side effect of their search for identity. That distinction was particularly hard to make when one was not self accepting. In that case, the temptation to reject oneself as a fetishist would have been an almost expected reaction. It certainly was mine at one time.

To honestly examine the psyche,  one should remove shame and guilt and then assess what the feelings signify. If it turns out that there is no deep sense of identity present that may not be a problem provided the sexually driven fantasy is managed such that it does not produce any significant distress.

It's fascinating how much emphasis has historically been put on infringing of gender norms when there are many other forms of social contraventions. For example,when Kinsey completed his studies on male and female sexuality in the late 1940's he found that it was contained within a band (ranging from 0 to 6) which confirmed that people were more sexually fluid (number of partners and same sex experiences) than they would have ever admitted publicly. It would make sense then that Harry Benjamin would find much the same type of reality regarding a band of gender expression and identity.

The fundamental conclusion should then be that if the individual is happy and well adjusted and their life path and actions do not harm others they should not be judged for it and simply left alone. Religious puritanism, plain old hatred and ignorance are absolutely culprits in failing to do so.

Gender criticals have of course put a lot of emphasis on the quack and unfalsifiable theory of AGP to paint all trans people as sexual deviants and they freely mix all forms of gender variance to prove their case. That need not be our personal problem if we are among the well adjusted, but pushing back against their dishonesty almost becomes obligation if we are to help young trans kids who are increasingly becoming targets of their disingenousness and toxicity.