N

I found out recently that N has been diagnosed with some form of cancer. I am not on social media so a friend informed me and I was immediately sad and emailed her only to receive no response as I had expected. Seven years ago I still thought we might stay together but the split happened (not because I am trans) and we both needed to rethink our futures at 53 and 50 respectively. You can understand why the news would not be very welcome and touch a nerve.

I am so very hopeful that they have caught it early and that she lives a long and prosperous life.

My ideas on relationships have of course evolved since then into a very lucid and sober take aided by the experiences of others with their own heartbreaks in this volatile arena we call romantic love. That I have no regrets about anything speaks to my opinion that all life experiences work towards the formation of the individual and benefit us despite our inability to see it in the moment.

That her beauty was matched by her intellect, made it all the more difficult.