Paint

We can feel a desire to push the envelope of gender expression without feeling in any way dysphoric and it is this distinction which has always fascinated me the most. There are plenty of people who are happy to live this way likely because they already have a deep understanding of their motivations.

The problem comes when we don't fully comprehend what drives us and we live in a netherworld in which the gender identity whicb has been crafted through our education is mistaken for being genuine. In other words, we may think we are perfectly fine living male most of the time and enjoy occasional expression but perhaps the true identity is lying underneath not fully acknowledged.

Older transgender people are more apt to suffer from this although the opposite can be true and we can read far too much into our cross gender expression. It is why our personal labels are far less important than a deep comprehension of the self which can often require considerable effort.

Discovering our true natures can be like peeling away paint which can serve as symbol for the indoctrination we received. I think a good sign that you need to continue exploring is that the questions keep popping into your head but, if they have stopped, then likely it is because you already have your answer and can stop stripping.