I am not easy

I am not an easy person to get to know or befriend since my guard is up towards people I find distasteful. There was an early developped caution bred in me bolstered by my witnessing how strange and sometimes cruel people can be. A natural shyness also fed into this mefiance with my distancing then allowing me to build analytical skills regarding human behaviour.

Knowing this about me you can understand why my aversion to groups was well honed and the more abrasive you were the more I tended to avoid you. Loud and unthinking people still annoy me except that I tend to be more forgiving in attributing family background and learned habits to their inclinations. Inauthentic behavior and posturing are also anathema to me because they just show you aren't secure enough to be yourself.

So now I work on being less dismissive and unforgiving one little step at a time. Not because it's good for others but because it's good for me.