This will take time

The amount of gender variance we are seeing in society today is much closer to the truth had we eliminated all societal taboos in the past. In other words, when we remove artificial restrictions, people behave with their own natural inclinations. This is why I am ultimately optimistic that once we clear up the confusion around nebulous terminologies like 'trans' we can simply allow people their self determination while establishing new common sense norms for living in society as a whole.

Simplifying male gender variance with anachronistic terms like "crossdressing" is clearly also not helpful since part of the problem has always been that gender variance among natal males was seen as far more aberrant than for natal females. Solving this disparity will go a long way towards stabilizing things. 

Yes, there will always be gender dysphoric people who need to transition but considerably more who will be more than happy not to question birth sex while indulging in more free expression. This could also help reduce the amount of detransitions through the encouraging of tailor-made lives which aren't frowned upon by society. 

All that being said, there are going to be people who fetishize gender variance but then this type of behaviour is everywhere outside of this sphere and that will never change. It's a big world with all kinds of people in it.

Ultimately my point is that the fact that I am seeing openly expressed gender variance every day by GenZ and younger means we are already well underway to creating a more equitable and inclusive world for everyone thus eliminating the need for double lives for many.