Like oil on water

When we don't know we truly are we won't be able to enter into a solid partnership with another person. Years ago I met a fellow and his wife who came to Montreal maybe twice a year with him dressed as a woman. Over our dinner she came to understand that her husband and I were not the same animal and admitted she would not have wanted a partner who was like me.

Understanding who we are becomes pivotal if we want perfect honesty and acceptance of our core identity. However if our cross gender expression is just something we do on occasion and isn't tied to identity then it need not hold the same import other than an agreement regarding its frequency. Regardless, absolute transparency is paramount because without that we don't have much of a foundation.

My ex-spouse now understands quite well about my identity and is sympathetic. Her work has a zero tolerance policy for any type of discrimination and they have had transgender people apply to them. Back in 2008 I wasn't as tuned in to who I am and the rest of the world knew almost nothing of this issue in general but over time all floated to the top like oil on water. Arguably and 16 years later, much of the world is still very much in the dark.

That fellow emailed me recently asking about getting together again and how my life was and when I mentioned I had socially transitioned I did not hear back.

It did not come as unexpected.