Saturday, March 9, 2024

Under similar circumstance

I hadn't been to my local mall for ages and yesterday I decided on the spur of the moment to do so. Before the pandemic it had been a place to sometimes stop after work and have a coffee before buying groceries. This time some merchants I hadn't seen for a while were glad to see me and we chatted briefly before I moved on to my next errand.

I made the contrast from when last I was here because, as sure of myself as I previously thought I was, my current status is so much better. I have completely stopped second guessing how I move, how I speak, how I gesture and everything is completely running on auto pilot. You realize you have become completely yourself whereas before you were somehow still in 'costume mode' but didn't know it. You now could care less who looks at you and for what reason.

A couple who recognized me came to say hello while I was having coffee and they were so nice. I would sometimes see them there and they wondered where I had gone. I was also glad to see them.

This is such a slow and deliberate mental progression that you don't realize the growth until you contrast the before and after under very similar circumstance.

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