Heartbreak

Heartbreak is the loss of a desired future. We imagined going forward with a partner who we have broken up with and we feel we left the best parts of ourselves on the cutting room floor. Even if that future was uncertain we had invested in a great hope which carried a lot of weight in our psyche.

Relationship loss can burn like the devil and can take a very long time to heal the ache. We realize that all that emotional energy ended up being for naught and our grief for a time threatens to consume us because we had built a narrative that was supposed to continue well into the future.

I have experienced that myself in my life plus have read many stories of marriages and relationships that implode which leave some people empty and depressed sometimes for longer than they should because in truth we end up breaking our own hearts.

The good news is that we can unbreak them by taking back the idealized dream you had with this person. The time away from them can be endowed with rose colored memories which distort the reality of the time you spent with them. The way back is to realize that you had invested so heavily in a dream that as of yet had no basis in reality but only in the great potential that you imagined. 

But you are still the same person and can then take that hope back and channel it elsewhere in your life. We can stop blaming them for destroying our dream and move on.