Shoehorn

Ideally, everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who they truly are. They also want to be able to care and love others. It is what drives the human animal.

Historically what people tried to do is to fit themselves into a schema such that they could be deemed to be loveable. Even if this meant denying themselves authenticity, they would find ways to bend themselves into pretzels so they could be, if not loved, then at least deemed acceptable by as many people as possible.

Thus many gays and lesbians would enter conventional marriages and transgender people would suppress (or transsexuals with no choice but to transition would disappear into stealth). All in the name of finding a life where one could feel part of something bigger than themselves.

I did exactly the same and tried to shoehorn myself into a workable archetype which ultimately failed because the cracks began to show. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying and if I am happier today it is because authenticity ultimately proved more fruitful than squeezing myself into a shoe that didn't fit. Some people can juggle a life where the compromise works and for that I tip my hat to them.

Today with the youth, I am starting to see a world where no one will have to do that any longer and, assuming I don't drop dead anytime soon, it is easily going to complete its cycle during my lifetime.