The amount of hand-wringing about what constitutes "trans" these days is almost mind-numbing when it need not be since a label is meaningless when compared to having a personal life plan that works. Some act as if they risk failing a litmus test.
When we feel better, calmer and more whole than we ever have in our lives then we know we have an answer. What you call yourself after that becomes secondary especially if you have chosen a highly personalized solution for your gender variance (whether you are dysphoric or not).It's interesting how people don't want to be left out of groups for fear that they are not measuring up when they should instead be looking inside for their own answers. Every time I go to a video discussing what constitutes a transgender person you can feel the angst in so many of the comments.
Believe me I get it because I was once trapped in that loop of trying to find a personal description which worked for a time. What ultimately worked far better was abandoning the hype and, after satisfying myself with science research, looking deep inside to find my core identity which became bolstered by my increasing lack of fear.
When things finally click into place you will know it. Trust me on this.
We need to examine our root motivation.
Hi Joanna, I don't mean to disagree but as I reflect on my experiences I want to add some thoughts.
ReplyDelete"We need to examine our root motivation." I think that can be so difficult to really do, to really know what our motivations are. And even with that to weight the consequences of making decisions whether it be to follow our ingrained instincts or not.
For me it came down to whether or not I could continue to live and I was very fortunate to have people in my life who supported me. You sure did, and so did Jack, and others.
I hesitate to say this but it also took an amazing amount of courage on my part. I well recall wearing women's footwear while driving my car and feeling terribly self-conscious and worried that other drivers would somehow notice!
I also think that the trans label helps us because with this label we have standing—however small—as part of society. If the label was splintered into other labels (which I submit would definitely happen) well, those divisions would make easier targets for attack.
Consider "LGBTQA..." In some ways it would all be better if we're just knowns as queers. It used to be a pejorative especially when I was young but now, I think, it's fun that we get to use it for ourselves and be proud of it.
Like my good friend Julia (a cis lesbian) says when we toast each other, "Cheers, queers!"
Hi Emma you are most welcome to disagree with me and please don't misunderstand. I am not saying not to adopt the transgender label I am instead saying to not obsess over it until you have done your internal homework first. That journey must happen within yourself instead of through comparison. I knew I was different from a very young age but did not possess the language to describe myself and the lexicon continued to evolve over my lifetime. We can get hung up on labels and lose ourselves in the process and I am glad you found yourself at last.
DeleteMotivation can be found with enough introspection and there are people who play with gender but don't feel the weight of dysphoria the way others do. Finding their specific formula is entirely up to them which is why there should never be a one size fits all solution for all gender variant people
Why is there any argument about "Finding their specific formula is entirely up to them which is why there should never be a one size fits all solution for all gender variant people."? I don't understand where you're coming from.
ReplyDeleteOf course, everyone needs to determine for themselves where they are on the trans spectrum (for lack of a better term). There is no straight line to figuring that out.
"Motivation can be found with enough introspection..." what is your definition of "enough"?
There is no argument I just wanted to emphasize its importance. I see a lot of angst regarding what the qualifications should be for being 'trans' when their only concern is finding peace and balance.
DeleteEnough introspection is something only each person can answer but for me it was the point at which I has exhausted all the avenues of doubt since I came at this from the perspective of a "please cure me" agnostic in my 40's. It was when everything felt right in my gut. The important important person to convince is yourself which is how we find peace with this difference which for me went a lot further than just clothing but ultimately fell short of needing a medical solution. For someone else it might be easier if they are more on the expression side of things
Additionally what we call trans today has been expanding into a bigger tent over time and yet it changes nothing about the individual introspection each person must make. In that regard I don't care whether I am under a tent or not I just need to understand whr makes me tick and what I need to do to improve quality of life
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