Inner child

Watching the Martha Stewart documentary on Netflix made me realize how pivotal our childhoods are. The first 10 years of life are particularly important and as we get to the cusp of puberty we have already been well indoctrinated into the requirements of our society. The more rigid the cultural and parental demands, the less wiggle room we have to find authenticity. 

Stewart had a demanding and critical father and at home there wasn't much affection. Hence she learned to be perfectionist because she had been identified by her father as the chosen one. When she eventually wanted to marry a Jewish man she was harshly struck across the face as in addition to a taskmaster he was a racist.

Martha Stewart comes off as cold and calculating and yet underneath you can see there is soft layer she dare not expose too freely. Her composure sometimes breaks and she looks down asking that we change the subject when the interview hits too close to home.

We are somehow always deep down that 10 year old child looking to be loved for exactly who we are.