The perfect phrase

I watched a podcast interview with someone named Louise who had transitioned back in the 1970's during which she said something which stayed with me. 

"As a child I wasn't effeminate, I was feminine" 

This was so perfect that I will never forget it because many of us may have downplayed our dysphoria thinking we would never be sufficiently able to fulfill a part in society. I then thought about how many women I know who are not caricatures of exaggerated femininity (which includes my own mother) and possess some masculine qualities to bolster their feminine ones. 

Effeminate suggests an over the top version of feminine which stands out rather than form part of a bigger portrait that makes up an individual. There are many strong women who are feminine in their own way without being barbie dolls although those do exist as well within the wide berth that contains female behavior. The point is to be authentic and not role play someone you are not.

Not to mention that I am too old to play act.

I have always preferred the balance between energies which is why part time living was becoming anathema as I splitting myself into pieces for absolutely  no benefit other than to please others.

All this to say that her phrase was the perfect thing to say because it described me and my natural instincts so very well.

Oh, and Louise? She was perfectly lovely.