Outside conventional idioms

I was thinking about how one can identify themselves outside of any traditional language we have developed over the decades regarding gender variance. In other words, outside conventional idioms how do you gage where we are and what we need to do. 

One way to think of it is in terms of the  permanence and strength of the feelings we have. If they can be adequately addressed with temporary expression then that is one way to know where we stand. This would contrast against a desire for fuller and more permanent forms of expression which could touch upon deeper issues of identity. 

Rather than focus on a label or a place on a spectrum for ourselves we focus of how adequately we are addressing our need for expression and its relation to our authenticity. The resulting calm and balance while being free of distress will tell us we are heading in the right direction.