Blending in and relaxing into ourselves can be slow when you have spent so many years in youth being on guard. It is a process where you progressively find yourself and stop worrying about what others see. Sure, being addressed as a female gives you that little boost of confirmation at first, but then it begins to matter less when you are finally able to provide your own validation.
Incorporating my "transness" fully into my life has meant creating a whole person with both the masculine and feminine energies we all possess and it has showed me that Joanna was never a temporary personna I put on through clothing and a hint of makeup. Some trans people transition and even become slightly more masculine versions of women because they incorporate facets which had always belonged to them. Once they had dealt with their dysphoria, their essence was about who they were on the inside and not the clothing they wore. As an example, Charlie Martin was still a race car driver after her transition.In the end, confirmation comes from you and it is only when you stop looking for it from others, that you know you are arriving at a point of wholeness.
Who are you?
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