Falling backwards

Self reliance is a good thing until it tips over into being mistrustful of others. In other words, we rely on ourselves because we are afraid to trust. I think of that exercise when you are invited to close your eyes, fall backwards and trust that the person will catch you. It is by no means innate instinct that we allow ourselves to do this.

Over my life I have gained a good deal of mistrustful impulses because keeping things to myself became mandatory. Often those defenses were proven correct because not everyone we meet has honorable intentions. However, I think the majority of people do except that they can see your reticence and not trust you in return. This needs to be worked back and I am learning later in life to be more open while still keeping my radar active; the one we develop as experiences teach us not to become targets or laughing stocks.

The person I have traditionally been most averse to is the impulsive and knee-jerk non-thinker; the more vapid, the more I was likely to dislike them. But even as they regularly fell into sinkholes there was something admirable in their tenacity to be so cavalier; to be so themselves.

Everyone has their own little demons and we need to show them we are not afraid to sometimes reveal our own by taking the risk of falling backwards.

We are always a work in progress.