Reconcile

The hardest thing for an older transgender person to do is to reconcile and deal with lived history. After all, there have been decades of investment in a role reinforcing one's birth sex and to do any type of about face requires not only courage but much logistical adaptation. So after my huge self-acceptance hurdle, came how to deal with all the built up complications involving career (now over), family and friends.

An exercise for the faint of heart this is not which is why so many of us put our heads down and ignore reality or at least manage the pressure of dysphoria through judicious cross gender expression which only puts a band aid on things.

I am still dealing with the increasingly smaller logistics of decades of investment in a role I played to perfection. It's not simple yet not as bad as my imagination had built it up to be and, because there is no time frame other than to keep mental wellness and balance, it removes much pressure from the psyche.