Once it's gone

Neil deGrasse Tyson warns of the brain drain currently happening in the US which has seen scientists and academics leaving the country in droves due to the current political climate. 

Many academics are accepting positions in other countries where science isn't considered a dirty word. They are being enticed by more stable and welcoming environments where laboratories and universities are ready to receive them. 

The US used to be the place many scientists escaped to in the early to mid 20th century, but now it is openly bleeding talent. Thanks to the country's penchant for fascistic policies and Christian nationalism cultism, it's become a bad time to work on science projects which don't align with official government policy. 

All this is part of an anti-intellectualism which has been building for years. A pro-business environment where climate change warnings and EPA regulations are a regular thing, is not a good homestead for science expertise which acts as a deterrent for making big profits. 

The problem is that once you lose the expertise it won't be easy to get it back which means you end up not being in the forefront of new developments in science and technology. 

When many of the people running your country don't think the planet is particularly old, climate change is a hoax and the Rapture is right around the corner, you aren't going to get their friendly ear when it comes time for science funding.

The Anthony Fauci witch hunt is yet another telltale sign that scientists would do well to practice their business elsewhere.

No shit Sherlock

Zagria's recent article on quack science prompted this post. 

Toxic theories about transgender and gender variant people tended to focus on phenomena rather than looking deeply behind it. 

In other words, "look there is arousal present. Full stop". 

The problem is that this is like making no distinction among the general population between one person getting aroused by feet, the other by having threesomes and someone else by looking at pictures of little kids. 

Not only is there unique psychology going on, but some of these cases might be problematic and need to be examined deeply. 

Instead, people were happy to identify dysfunction and ran with the ball. They weren't interested in looking further. 

"These people aren't normal!" No shit Sherlock. For their part, transgender people represent roughly 1% of the population and the gender variant population (gender non-conforming, non-binary, etc) is a bit larger. So technically you are correct that you are dealing with a minority; now how are you going to help them. 

As it turns out, not at all. Eradication is the way instead.

The hard work is always looking beyond the surface level of anything to determine what is going on and then decide on a course of action or, conversely, to do nothing at all.

The thing we need to eradicate most is stupidity and I don't hold out any hope whatsoever for that.

Three criteria

Dietrich Bonhoeffer used three criteria for identifying stupidity in humans which were: 

- Outsourcing of critical thinking 

- Willful ignorance

- Conformity 

All three of these we are able to witness today and it will be futile to argue with anyone who espouses some or all of them. 

Humans aren't more or less stupid than we've ever been, except today everything is more visible thanks to the internet and social media. 

Our desire to belong to tribes rather than risk being alienated means we will more readily abandon critical thought. 

Higher education doesn't necessarily solve the problem of stupidity because people who may be experts in one very particular area may be just as willing to have cult ideas about a whole range of topics outside their field. 

Stupidity isn't the lack of knowledge but instead the refusal to undertake the process of looking into things. It is the lazy embracing of ideas or concepts passed on to us second hand. 

People are less afraid to openly display ignorance today because they see others do it. It has propagated the idea of personal truth over objective truth. Interestingly some replace one for the other and sell their ideas as if they had already passed critical thinking inspection.

Pseudoscience has sometimes been created to give the appearance of critical thinking rigor.  It was then accepted by dogmatic warriors who wanted its conclusions to be true. 

We may yet return to an era where critical thinking is praised and prioritized but for the time being we will need to suffer the wrath of social media experts a little while longer.

Loren

Most people aren't nearly as challenged as Loren is. It's a reminder for all of us when we think our life is hard...

There I got it out!

It took me a while to pinpoint exactly why the "crossdresser" subculture increasingly irritated the shit out of me over the years. It started to feel more and more creepy, secretive and petrified as if trapped in a timeloop. 

The big challenge for some of walking in the mall made me want to scream "for f*ck's sake just do it already it's not 1985 anymore!" 

I wasn't mad at them but more mad for them that so much hand wringing had to happen for something as bloody boring and tame as that. A big production number was made over outings that no one else cares about. 

Is the world full of prejudiced idiots? Yes but we don't let them win.

I understand the fear completely in my bones because as an almost 64 year old, older people grew up with gender policing engraved into their brains such that any contravention could potentially get you beat up. For some it could mean the end of a marriage which ultimately happened to me even if this wasn't the true reason for it. 

Seeing people make videos strolling around at night or in motel rooms also looked creepy and weird and I wanted nothing to do with that. I also didn't like clubs or events and I met a few people over the years who plain weirded me out. I found out one was a dominatrix on the side which made me say sayonara. 

All this helped me discover I was more on the transsexual side of things.

In the end what I truly want is for people to feel free to be themselves. Transition or don't transition that's your business but move out of the shadows and flesh out who you are in the bloody daylight. Stop overthinking everything. 

Young people are running around everyday wearing what they like and no one cares because their expression and body language challenges you make a face at them. They don't give a shit what you think of them and it shows. 

It's what I love about them and yes they had it easier than us. 

However, the world of gender variance is extremely broad and includes all kinds of characters and motivations which is why I really don't like to put everyone into the same soup bowl. I go on a case by case basis.

There I got it out!

We all are

As we begin to get our house in order moving about society as transgender people, we begin to observe others much more carefully instead of worrying about being observed. 

We notice the idiosyncrasies and sense of entitlement many people have which we find strangely and oddly reassuring. 

This relaxes our body language which increasingly enters us into more calm. 

In case you hadn't noticed it before, people are strange. 

We all are.

Every bit helps

Zohran Mamdani is putting his money where his mouth is. 

His latest announcement is about municipal grocery stores in NYC. His campaign against hunger is about helping the people in most need, which is turning him into a pariah with the right wing. 

A Muslim making them look bad is a slap in the face, which is why FOX News is working overtime to turn him into a villain and Stephen Miller must be grinding his teeth at night at the sheer chutzpah.

Mamdani's city-run grocery stores will have basic food staples set at prices 30% below the cost of what other grocery stores charge. This will help people who are struggling with feeding themselves every month. 

Maybe it's a small drop in the bucket compared of the problems of the world, but it is an example of how government can be charged with helping people improve their lives rather than tell them why it can't.

Protect this man.

Myth

 

Vulnerable

I've had to work on reducing my intensity. For years I developed a life script based on duty, performance and keeping things under control. 

Life doesn't take kindly to being controlled. 

Vulnerability wasn't really something I could indulge in because it meant dropping my guard and divulging who I was afraid to be. As a result I played the social game so perfectly that I fooled even myself. 

People of my generation and older didn't have much elbow room to maneuver. We were raised by parents who knew hardship and who adhered to social norms like they rules never to be broken. Many of those rules came with religious damnation attached to them. 

Performance for society is no longer in my playbook and vulnerability towards the right people is something I work on because it's good for all of us. 

A good friend of mine before she died of cancer at age 63 told me how she had benefitted from dropping her defenses and allowing people to help her. 

She embraced vulnerability completely and her message has stayed with me ever since. 

Today I take up much more space within my surroundings than ever both metaphorically and physically, except that "look at me the wrong way and I'll smack you" as a primary reflex isn't the correct way to be.

I work on that.

End goal

No matter the type of gender variance involved, the deeper questions need to be answered: Is this more about expression or identity? Is this something I should want to control and why? Is this something which has always been intrinsic to me since the beginning or am I just experimenting and having fun with it? 

Without answers to these and other similar questions we cannot build a road map towards action. We will not understand the end goal or whether one should even exist. 

Some people say "I just like to feel pretty sometimes" which is innocuous enough but then it could increasingly become life occupying. That statement can also be an underestimating of how deep our sentiments run. 

When we are proceeding in the right direction we should be increasing life balance and a sense of calm. That doesn't mean that achieving authenticity won't come with tempestuous times because divulging something can imply risk and risk is something older people are less willing to undertake. 

Our lives are our own and living them in fear of judgement isn't the right way. Secrecy also has impacts for the psyche that can be quite harmful which I myself experienced. 

So we ask the deeper questions to establish our motives and our end goals to better understand ourselves and what we must do (or not do) going forward. 

What we don't want to have is stagnation which means we've stopped growing and maturing. This can lead to frustration and resignation that our lives are stuck. 

Instead we work towards self-knowledge until some sort of balance point is reached.

Gender variance has always been a normal part of the human mosaic. The tricky part is knowing where we reside and what we do about it.

It means answering the question "who are you?"

Logjam

We have hit a perfect logjam which was a long time in coming and yet entirely foreseeable. 

Climate change, the loss of jobs to automation (AI), income inequality and the nature of human relationships and family structures have all met at a crisis point which threatens to derail many societies. 

The change in the old world order has scared the living daylights out of stupid conservatives who are in panic mode. Their antidote has been to bear down even more by refuting science and generally being all around bad eggs. 

The revenge of the white boomer has been to stall as much as possible what was inevitably coming. 

The diversification of the world has hit hard. Immigration patterns and changes in family dynamics has meant a loss of power for white men who thought they owned everything. With that order threatened it was time to elect more right leaning politicians who would restore social order. 

It didn't work. 

Trumpism has been an abject failure largely thanks to the deception of the working class and the flow of capital moving upwards towards the already wealthy. 

The experiments tried in Brazil and Hungary didn't work either because culture war smoke screens ultimately don't work when working people's lives grow progressively worse in the process. 

Thus we are facing a multi-faceted problem which needs addressing before the world can begin a new era of relative prosperity. 

Making villains out of visible minorities hasn't worked and people who can't afford basic necessities are tired of hearing the term "woke" from idiot online influencers being paid handsomely by billionaire capitalists.

Time has run out for people who thought this plan would work and the next few years will be very chaotic. 

Just ask the people living next door to data centers. But you'll need to speak loudly if you want them to hear you.

A shot in the veins

Yesterday I got caught up watching a few older episodes of the series "The Undateables". 

What stayed with me afterwards was the charming optimism and exuberance shown by people that much of society outright dismisses. 

Some are deeply autistic, have down syndrome, learning disabilities, genetic conditions which affect appearance, their height or some other physical feature which hampers their search for romantic companionship. 

Some have been disappointed before and some have never dated and yet there is sweetness there that melted away (at least temporarily) my negativity towards couple life. 

Their genuine hope springs eternal which I find very soothing. 

These people are devoid of masks and false bravado. They wear their heart on their sleeves and are giddy beyond belief when they get the call that a potential match has been found. 

Yes, their first dates can be awkward but then no more than anyone else's. The difference is that their efforts to make a genuine connection are not spoiled by learned techniques which would derail their earnestness. 

They simply want to be loved for who they are which they couldn't hide even if they tried to. They very rightfully are fully themselves at all times.

We should all be so lucky.

It's also a shot in the veins for someone who has let a little too much realism seep into their circulatory system.

Hello

Aileen was walking her beautiful husky in my direction as we crossed paths on the sidewalk. 

"Hello there and where are you going on this fine morning? To work?" 

"No I'm retired" I responded and I could see she was surprised since she had clearly underestimated my age which I then divulged.

"I need to get out of the house and get my energy out otherwise I go mental" and she laughs. 

Aileen is 67 and works at the daycare attached to the school directly in front of my house. We have never spoken before other than a brief good morning or a comment on the weather. 

This morning it's a solid 5 minute conversation as I head to the metro early as usual. I leave the house at 6 am because I love the fresh air and lack of extreme summer heat.

She gently scolds her 4 year old husky "don't get hair on her" and pulls him back which then prompts me to pet him to show I'm not quite so sensitive. 

Building a neighborhood life is an organic process. People see and recognize you and they say hello as you process where you know them from. You slowly but surely become a known commodity.

It's been one of the pleasant things about my transition.

"Normal"

What was considered "normal" within a culture has been historically determined based on its prevalence of occurrence. The smaller the percentage of something being observed, the more likely it was that it would be seen as an anomaly or as a disorder. 

Our knowledge of science wasn't very advanced at the time but today it is at its highest point in our history. Suddenly "normal" isn't such a simple thing to determine because nature has shown itself to largely operate on a series of continuums. 

For a human being, at each level of the chromosomes, gonads, endocrine system and the genitals we find possible variations which contradict the concocted idea of a perfect binary. 

Add to that the behavioral aspects of gender (which includes the inner workings of brain chemistry) and you have a slew of possible combinations for producing a human being who challenges what "normal" is. 

Historically we haven't used science as the ultimate barometer but instead cultural norms which simply decided what was acceptable. Depending on what culture you were born in would determine your social suitability and ability to lead a peaceful life. 

Regretably the western world's Judeo-Christian model was for thousands of years among the most rigid. 

It is now 2026 and when gender criticals say that "sex matters" it makes me chuckle a bit because they aren't basing themselves on our latest scientific reality. They are relying instead on their own determination of what should be permitted based on simplified criteria we espoused decades ago and beyond. 

In that case their 'sex matters" catch phrase loses its potency and becomes meaningless since science isn't on their side.

Instead, they want to go back to an outdated "normal" that has very little to do with the reality of our natural messiness as a species.

Cynic

You could say that a cynic is ostensibly a disappointed idealist.

They were optimistic starting out in life but were burned enough times such that their positivity melted into resignation that says "there is no point in getting one's hopes up" 

As we get older we have had our share of deception and it's very tempting to feel deep disappointment. I work on the balance point between my knowledge of human nature and the acknowledgement that fortunately it also produces the besr of us. 

In that sense I don't consider myself a cynic but instead a person who recognizes what's coming from a long distance by virtue of my life experience. 

I don't hold out false hope but neither do I dismiss things in advance before knowing what I am facing and give the benefit of the doubt first. 

Experience doesn't need to breed cynicism but that doesn't mean we don't burn off a naiveté which doesn't serve us well at all in this life.

You've met just one

I don't follow Ray Williams and his retransition but when a short pops up on my feed I click on it. 

His insistence that AGP (as part of the Blanchard taxonomy) is responsible for his transition path is interesting because instead of focusing primarily on personal wellness and wholeness it seems he is looking for solace by being categorized as a typology. 

I find it tips his hand by saying "I am doing something I cannot help" rather than stating "I am moving towards affirming my identity" which is very telling.

I don't criticize his decision and his motivation is his own only that he is just feeding into the hands of gender criticals who want sexual dysfunction to be a significant aspect of the "trans ideology". 

Imagine if we spent all our time looking at human dysfunction and variability as a whole (which is plentiful to a point I had dared not imagine when younger) so we could take aim at groupings of people for eradication. 

Human beings are highly complex and cannot be readily put into boxes. This variability ends up in every facet of what constitutes us which means when you meet a person you have met precisely one person and not a typology.

Normalcy

At the Whitehouse correspondent dinner, Trump spoke incoherently for over an hour berating people and generally being the humorless and loathsome moron we've come to expect. 

Everyone has had enough of him except the minority of Americans who are unreachable. We even have some of those here in Canada. 

This dinner is supposed to be a celebration of the 1st ammendment where in the past some good natured ribbing could be had at the president's expense.

However these are different times. 

The WSJ reporters win an award for exposing Trump ties to the child molester Epstein and, in a moment worthy a Twilight Zone episode, the winners shake the hand of the criminal president who must think by now he is untouchable for all the escaping from the law he has managed. 

Slurring his way incomprehensibly through speeches has become routine and Americans must be desensitized after 10 years of this. It's become strangely normal to have an incompetent fool at the helm. 

There was a time where country was placed over party and, despite the imperfection of political systems, people on the whole felt a sense of normalcy that no longer exists. 

Every previous president looks almost like a star by comparison. Yes, even Bedtime for Bonzo and "My Pet Goat" Dubbya.

The dangling participle

I don't recall which scientist said the following: 

"I'd rather have questions unanswered than see answers go unquestioned" 

People love certainty which allows them to sleep at night however it has the opposite effect on me. I am very comfortable with uncertainty especially if not all the dots line up. My science background won't allow me to invest in fallacy. 

When I first started blogging I took interest in theories that made conclusions about transgender people without having enough conclusive data and would have necessitated mind reading skills to resolve. 

I therefore concluded that bias was being baked in for nefarious reasons rather than be in favour of leaving things with some degree of uncertainty. 

Most world religions rely on certainty. People are given their marching papers with a set of instructions and then the brain is shut off. There is no further need to explore any nagging questions. 

If you are comfortable with uncertainty I laud you because it means you have left room for critical thinking and reasonable doubt.

You don't mind that you may be dealing with (to borrow a phrase from grammar) a dangling participle.

Don't overthink it

When you live full time one of the challenges can become balancing your masculine and feminine energies which everyone possesses. 

You are no longer wearing a masculine mask for the world and then saving up your femininity for opportune openings. This requires a deliberate reflection but one which need not involve too much stress. 

If you are transgender you will already possess feminine energy only that it may have been forced underground or entirely suppressed for perhaps years. This would certainly be the case if you are older and coming out later in life as I did. 

I no longer need to overthink things but for a while I was self conscious as to how I was being perceived. Over time however you blend yourself into one entity that has a range of behaviour and moods like anyone else. 

It becomes second nature. 

Today I had coffee with Angela who is a few years younger and doesn't know I am transgender and I found myself thinking about how far I had come in my letting go of self analysis. 

She told me she's never seen me so calm and chill which I feel is both a reflection of having retired plus grown into myself as a trans person. 

It can take a while to achieve this but the key is to have confidence that people will see the real you since you know perfectly well it's not an act. 

In other words, there's no point in worrying about what's always naturally been there.

You simply allow it to shine through.

Exclusivity

Human beings are strange. 

We create definitions through exclusivity so we can restrict others. If you belong to a tribe the idea is to make sure others don't belong. 

Find any grouping in society and you are guaranteed to find policing watchdogs to restrict belonging. This is because humans operate out of fear rather than the idea of inclusiveness. 

The people I have most admired in my life were intelligent, sincere, confident and kind. These are traits that discourage fear and insecurity which meant they also didn't feel compelled to seek safety within a group that didn't share their value system. 

Many people live their lives scared to death which ends up infringing on their personal growth. They might join a group for safety where they can look down on others and find false confidence in doing so.

They find comfort with the rest of the fearful.

Damage

We are all born clean slates but then we become somehow damaged. We have parents who were themselves damaged and we live in a damaged society. 

We learn early on that the world is far from pristine. 

There isn't really an antidote for this but countless poets, philosophers, gurus, psychiatrists and playwrights have tried to find answers to what ails us and how to fix it. 

It appears that the imperfection is baked in under the guise of what we think is free will and the natural entropy of the universe. 

We cannot repair the world but we can repair ourselves to a point. We can learn to process the damage we've been exposed to and put context to it. 

We can understand that some if not most came from the wounds of others.

Playbook

The playbook has been repeated many times. A leader takes over a party and hollows it from the inside out. He demands loyalty and anyone who doesn't agree gets thrown overboard. 

Republicans will eventually no longer exist as a party and, as part of a US reset, another party free of Trump stench will take its place. 

You cannot have a political entity act as cult of personality because you have effectively created what the US was originally founded on: to escape the control of a monarch. 

The GOP no longer creates policy, they simply are a legion of whiny and vindictive moaners trying to derail social progress as a vengeance on what they call "woke culture". They do this while genuflecting before a leader whose tantrums they deeply fear.

The damage Trump has caused is so severe and the anger so pronounced among millions of Americans, that they will never vote GOP again. 

Well deserved.

WTF?

If you make the mistake of placing bets on humans having high intelligence, you will lose money every time..

10 times over

If I repeated the word psychology to you 10 times over it still wouldn't be enough to convey and emphasize its importance in our lives. 

Our success around grappling with issues and conflicts depends on it. Who we think we are revolves around it completely. 

When I was young my life was centered around immature psychology. I hadn't lived long enough to separate problems into order of importance and to analyze the world properly into what was pivotal versus trivial social invention. 

Needless to say, dramas were created out of nothing. As an example, walking in a mall dressed in feminine clothing as a young person was a gauntlet which now makes me laugh in retrospect. What I was wearing at the time was completely trivial.

What changed was my psychology and nothing else. 

We cannot wait to be permitted by society to do something because it often operates by irrational concensus. People do what they think is allowed and even then desperately copy in hopes of being accepted by the herd. 

Our work is about societal detachment, self-respect, kindness and critical thinking. 

All of it is contained in psychology.

The other cheek

The Christian message says to love your neighbor and even those who persecute you which is a tremendous challenge. 

Turning the other cheek is probably the hardest thing we are asked to bear. It's certainly a difficult one for me. 

As I got older my cynicism increased but so did my ability to see behind facades and into people's suffering. Life isn't easy and many take the road of aggression as a short cut to temporarily alleviate their pain. 

It doesn't work but for a time they can feel superior to someone else. 

If we recognize this we can be empathetic and not take glee in their suffering. 

Trump voters are finding this out the hard way and there's no point rubbing their faces in it for some may still draw a lesson from it.

Chess with an idiot

Trump is making sure that Canada moves permanently away from major trade deals with the US. This doesn't mean that all trade will stop between us only that our dependence on deals not worth the paper they're written on is over. 

We are moving towards Europe, Asia and to some degree China although the latter with some reservations. 

The latest Trump imposition of 50% tariffs on selected Canadian goods means Americans will pay even more for items they used to buy from us. Citizens already burdened with the highest inflation in the G7 will continue to shoulder higher costs. 

The justification for these tariffs changes day to day and is then posted on social media by the mad king. 

"America First" has turned into "America Alone". 

The problem with strongman tactics is that they can only work if there is a tactical strategy at play. Using bully tactics only meant to scare has resulted in Mark Carney's shrewdness and intelligence coming to the fore. 

In other words, Carney is playing chess with an idiot who doesn't know how to move the pieces but Carney plays nice and doesn't taunt because he knows better not to. 

The Republicans already face a daunting challenge in November and despite attempts at cheating likely will come out losers. They have played Russian roulette with the livelihoods of people who are being hurt by the geopolitical realities affecting all economies. 

They are of course also plagued by having tied their fortunes to a clown with a long history of failure and it will cost their party plus Americans as a whole very dearly. 

We in Canada have a highly motivated and educated population here that will not be bullied.

Arsenic

Sometimes I will pop in on toxic podcasts warning of the big bad transgender agenda.

They are all highly predictable and usually include a detransitioner who swears that they were guided by a bad gender therapist. It is the equivalent of saying I got a bad nose job (a much higher regret rate) and now no one else should either. Except that no one can force you to do anything.

In other words, it's all breathtakingly stupid and full of malice.

Blanchard is still making the rounds saying that the transgender legions refuse to acknowledge the reality of a term he invented. It would be comical if it weren't so badly intentioned but at least it allows them to high-five in their echo chamber.

I always go back to one point which is that their efforts are like putting drops of arsenic into a huge city's water supply. Their aim to do harm is insufficient to stem a tide that can't be stopped.

Do people sometimes make decisions in life they later regret? Every day and for the foreseeable future that we are on this planet. Besides, not all transgender people medically transition nor should they by default.

However not everyone is the same and lumping them all together for the sake of an agenda is beyond disingenuous and just plain evil.

If only

A FOX News reporter on perenially smug Jesse Waters' program, was featured visiting a homeless encampment in New York city for the purposes of attacking Zohran Mamdani. 

The propaganda network of America was seen belittling people on the presumption that they want to live in squalor. The reporter after touching the belongings of the people who lived there, proceeded to push a microphone into the faces of those sleeping on the pavement asking "why are you sleeping here?" 

The smugness was deliciously punch worthy. 

The exploding global crisis of inequality is getting ready for payback and blaming the victims as lazy is not going to fare well. 

The world is in crisis and the desperation is growing among people who used to be able to keep up. As the middle class dwindles down to a nice idea that once existed, we are ending up with a scenario that is untenable. 

The relative economic stability a large swath of North Americans experienced growing up is now increasingly reserved for people who have much more money than they know what to do with. 

At one point the reporter pushes his luck and asks a homeless man "Sir what do you do for a living?" 

The man responds sarcastically 

"I hold up news reporters at gun point" 

If only.

Calculated risk

Personal growth isn't measured by how safe we were in life but by how willing we were to step outside our comfort zone. 

This I have learned in spades and I am now finishing a cleanup stage that is resulting in what I feel is the best version of me yet. 

I am never going to be perfect but the little steps taken always in a forward direction have moved me closer than ever to the most authentic version of myself. 

If I hadn't taken calculated risks I wouldn't be where I am.

Into the void

There's an early episode of Futurama where professor Farnsworth invents a hat which gives a monkey superior intelligence including the ability to speak. It's one of the funniest of the series because of the dislike between Frye and the monkey leading to some hilarious exchanges. 

Larer, the monkey becomes disappointed with his situation. His parents are brought into a social function where they proceed to engage in mayhem. Some poop may have also been flung. 

Near the end of the episode the hat is damaged just enough to reduce the monkey's superior intelligence by half. He is happy beyond words and asks the professor not to repair it. 

He wants just enough intelligence but not more. 

The philosophy behind here is spot on. We can spend time analyzing everything to death but then not live. There is a balance to be had between instinct and introspective thought such that we can enjoy the best of both human capabilities. 

As a serial over-analyzer it was a bit of a touche reminder. 

At the end of the episode the monkey is asked by Farnsworth what he will do now. 

"I think I'll study business" he says gleefully. 

Farnsworth, shocked from disappointment, screams into the void. 

"Noooooo!"

Cut to black.

Asshat

Alberta is getting set to build a data center which will consume the equivalent power needed to service the entire city of Edmonton. 

The problem is that Alberta already pays the highest electricity utility rates in the country and in a largely unregulated province, premier Danielle Smith is telling her citizenry not to worry about increasing electricity bills. 

If you believe rates won't go up after the center's completion then I have swamp land to sell you. 

The Alberta government is our MAGA light province meaning that they have the same penchant for conservative hard-headedness and acting before properly thinking things through as Texas. Smith made the announcement wearing a cowboy hat perhaps thinking it would carry more gravitas. 

My province of Quebec has its power generation governed and operated by the province (hydro Quebec) and any data center built here will be paying the highest price per kwh of any facility to make sure that citizens are not burdened. 

As a general rule we aren't overly keen on having any built here.

When asked by the media if Alberta would ever push for any forms of renewable energy, Danielle Smith emphatically said no making sure that at some point in the future it will come back to haunt the province. 

Needless to say, climate change was duly unimpressed by Smith's certainty.

 

Not controversial

I watched part of a talk by Julia Serano which dealt with the accusation that transsexuals were deliberately reinforcing the gender binary. This is actually true but then it's inadvertent since transsexuals are all about identity. 

Once they transition their expression is as varied as anyone else's. In other words, some are ultra-feminine while others live perennially in a T-shirt and jeans and don't wear a stitch of makeup unless they absolutely have to. 

The fact that this should spark any controversy especially within the world of gender variance is surprising because if we understand the differences between identity and expression, the question should be immediately settled. 

Plenty of people who don't have core identity questioning can have a wide range of expression. However, settling a disconnect of core identity is something else entirely. 

I understand the general public being confused, but gender variant people should know better.

There are politics everywhere. It's unavoidable.

Outcome

When we look back on our lives we remember incidents where we might rethink the way we acted or failed to act. 

They can stay burned in the memory without knowledge of how a different action from us might have altered the outcome. 

This is the could've should've we humans love to indulge in our attempt to second guess. 

Two things come to mind here. One is that we are imperfect beings and the other is that the better outcome we imagine (had our input been different) might not have come to pass. 

We like to think we are to blame for much but sometimes forget to factor in that we had no ill will or malice when we reacted. 

We let our judgement of a hair trigger human response stew in the brain sometimes for years without a satisfactory conclusion. 

The English poet Alexander Pope coined the phrase "to err is human, to forgive divine" and I try to remember that when I fall into the trap of trying to go down conceptual rabbit holes.

Forgiving also includes ourselves.

Hoopla

Christopher Nolan's new film "The Odyssey" has got the MAGAverse's panties in a bunch. 

Not only did Nolan have the audacity to cast a black woman (Lupita Nyong'o) as Helen of Troy but he also put Eliott Page (a trans man) in his movie. This was of course a bridge too far for right wing pundits but also for the incels typing nasty comments from the safety of their basements. 

Blaire White, one of the right wing's token trans persons, was of course also amongst the horrified as she fumed through her video using her artificially injected lips.

Both the critics and audiences are giving the Nolan film rave reviews which is even more infuriating for people who love to stew in grievance as their primary pastime. 

The "woke agenda" backlash is what helped get Kankles McTaco tits elected (thank you Jennifer Welch!) except now the shine is big time off the apple. Things are going very badly for a regime that promised to get the country on track while simultaneously pissing in the corn flakes of the most disenfranchised minorities. 

That hasn't turned out too well.

People are getting tired of the whining and the moaning from people who for years now have made a living from spewing negativity. 

All this hoopla over a movie about an 8th century BC fictional epic by Homer prompts me to kindly invite the naysayers to go get a life.

Tonic

I do feel empathy for people standing at Jehovah's witnesses kiosks. They believe earnestly that they are doing the right thing. 

Religion for many works as a pacifier. It provides them community and a dogma regardless of its veracity. 

This is the way it has always been. 

The problem is that it also breeds a type of vulnerability which is ripe for abuse by the powerful. Prosperity gospels arise which contort an essential message of peace and love into something more earthly and even sinister. 

Cults are built where people will do anything to avoid thinking critically (assuming they are able). 

For centuries the powerful used faith as a way to keep the masses from seeing how much of their misery and enslavement were man-made. They were told to hope for salvation as tonic for what ailed them and to keep praying while they were being bamboozled. 

We haven't changed one bit.

There is only one truth, except that no one here is fully privy to it.

On the head of a pin

In more intellectual circles, the argumentation around transgender issues is equivalent to "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin"; an ecclesiastical pondering which the common folk has no interest in or any need for.

In other words, the discussions become necessarily laden with talk of gametes, reproductive issues and chromosomes because it suits the detractors as key differentiators. 

The problem with this is that real life doesn't operate this way. A completely stealth transgender woman lives her life on a pragmatic level based on interactions that don't involve these things. Most people don't even understand them. 

To the public she is a woman and possibly to most of the people she calls acquaintances. Perhaps only her close friends know she wasn't born genetically female. 

Sex and gender are lived out in the world and not in a laboratory. Men and women are also born and raised with traits that bleed into each other. Meaning that the behaviour and habits that we term masculine and feminine are not the exclusive property of each birth sex. 

The general public is not versed in the kinds of issues I sometimes read about or watch on podcasts. They determine who they are dealing with based on a subjective assessment which in the end has more to do with whether they are facing a nice person or an unpleasant one. 

Regretably human intolerance and stupidity often offer up their strongest presence in circles where we ignore lived experience in favour of more esoteric leanings meant to discredit the legitimacy of people; people whose sex or gender are secondary to the more important question of their character.

It's one of the specialties and qualities I find most distasteful in the odious gender critical movement which sees danger everywhere and operates in spreading fear instead of bathing in intelligence.

Regretably, human stupidity can be and often is contagious.

Comeuppance

The man who asked Brad Raffensperger in Georgia to find him 11,870 votes slurred his way through a speech last night which reeked of sheer panic. 

Trump knows that if the GOP loses the house and senate in November, he is most definitely cooked. Impeachment and consequences will most assuredly follow. The most corrupt president in US history will hopefully finally face justice. 

This means that he will do anything to try and cheat but will ultimately fail once again. 

A lady MAGA voter recently posted: 

"I voted for Donald Trump to piss off liberals. It was really funny. I am worried that I will lose my Medicaid now. 

I have type II diabetes with diabetic retinopathy. If I lose my healthcare, I won't be able to afford my meds and will lose my vision. 

I'm in tears. Please help me" 

These two situations are related of course. Both the lying saviour who takes advantage of people who fall for propaganda and his willing disciples will face a comeuppance. 

One of them deserves it much more than the other.

Anything goes

Those of you who are a little older like me, grew up in a world where you were observed under a magnifying glass. 

You were taught manners and that people were watching which affected the way you lived your life. 

That has completely changed. 

Many people are rude, self-centered and comport themselves as they like in public. This has turned a negative into a positive for gender variant people since no one cares how one presents. These characters have desensitized the general public.

You are liable to see someone grocery shopping in pajama pants. Some people who look positively atrocious are superbly confident in their atrociousness. 

Do I care what these idiots think of me? Take a wild guess.

It takes some rewiring of your brain but if you are still scared today to present in public, perhaps it's because you haven't been paying attention at all. 

I've just about seen it all.

Go live your life.

Advice

Taking advice from another transgender person can often be problematic. 

We are such unique beings that what worked well for someone else could be completely wrong for us. We have different psychologies, family histories, religious beliefs, etc which will greatly colour our decision making process. 

The best advice to take is probably regarding the pragmatic things like skin care, clothing, etc. This is relatively harmless. 

However, issues dealing with personal psychology are another matter entirely. 

Everyone has a highly personal journey of discovery and I made sure to very carefully weigh what I was taking in as information from others with a healthy degree of skepticism; never negativity. 

What worked for them was great. 

Some transgender people make the mistake of jumping the gun when their egg cracks. I can completely understand this and yet everything built to date is then put into jeopardy. 

The older we are when we discover ourselves the more we are invested somewhere.

I have sat on that precarious edge since my early 40's always trying to weigh what to do. Copying someone else's path wouldn't have helped me in the least and wouldn't have been wise.

There is no perfect age to transition nor is there an obligation to do so. 

It is your life and no one else's.

Model stranger

 

Blunt

Over the years, my bluntness has got me in trouble more times than I can count with just about every shade of the spectrum. My examining, prodding and questioning seemed to get some people's backs up. 

My dry analytical approach doesn't suit everyone but then I hold no malice against anyone. My aim is to uphold the rights of all while trying to understand where the priorities should lie. 

In this world, the weakest and most vulnerable are always the easiest target. 

Right now in the US and the UK's gender critical movement in particular, there is a concerted push to eradicate transgender people. They are to be so persecuted to the point where they desist and detransition. 

They are to disappear from view. 

I live in a city and country where transgender people generally feel safe and are supported. Is it perfect here? far from it but I lived far too long in the shadows and I have the nasty temper to show for it (working on it ;)). 

Youth don't yet have that confidence or life resources and inside countries where they are actively persecuted, it can be scary beyond words. 

I have nothing against people who bend gender for pleasure, for fun, for relaxation or for the joy of expression. But then, they have more choices. 

Conversely, transgender people trying to live their truth openly every day in the world aren't quite so lucky.

Time's up

The top 10% of US earners are spending the same total money on discretionary things (ie. excluding mortgages, etc) as those in the bottom 70%. 

Let that sink in for a minute. 

Within that bottom group there are people who have trouble with surprise expenses exceeding $400 and are skipping meals or buying medicine to keep up with rising costs. Some of them are living in their cars while they hold 2 jobs. 

This is a bomb waiting to go off and it will. 

The American economy is cratering as the regime spends money on a war of choice while it tries to keep up with interest payments on its crippling debt. Something has to give somewhere. 

Tomorrow night Trump will take to the airwaves to moan once again about the 2020 election. 

I think it's time to finally put grandpa to bed before he does any more damage.

"I don't see it"

 

A book by its cover

Whenever I use a public restroom (which is daily) I don't normally look up from the mirror. I wash my hands, then dry them and leave unless I am spoken to. 

When I walked into one this morning there were two women looking after their appearance. Later, upon exiting my stall after finishing my business, both were still there. 

"Purple is a nice color. It suits you" 

"Thank you very much!" I said looking at her as i finished washing up. She was maybe early 30's and sufficiently bohemian and tattooed to potentially have her be dismissed by some people. 

The other woman who was far more conventional, ignored both of us and applied her lip colour.

The younger of the two had been referring to my simple lavender day dress. 

"I really appreciate the compliment have a nice day!" I said smiling as I exited. 

"You too"

We are always better to never judge people by appearances which is a lesson reinforced to me almost daily.

We are all books with covers that don't necessarily accurately represent what's inside.

For no good reason

ICE agents these days seem to have a tendency to shoot people while the victims are driving their cars. 

The latest one involved a 26 year old man named Joan Sebastian Guerrero in sleepy Biddeford Maine who was in the US legally. He was then pulled out of his car and handcuffed never mind providing him medical assistance as he bled out on the pavement. 

He wasn't the target of the warrant but now he's dead before succumbing to his injuries saying "I tried to stop" 

Interesting that there is a lack of bodycam footage which makes it easier to use the excuse that the driver was using their car as a weapon. 

The propaganda channel known as FOX News will play up the illegal alien angle for their cult which is a shame because a 3 year old girl (who was also in the car) no longer has a father. 

All for no good reason.

Energy

The public feeds off the energy we provide to them. They can detect if we are tense, joyful, sad, etc. by what we project. 

If you are looking out for who is looking at you (which many trans people fall prey to) they will detect that also. 

What they want to see most is someone who knows who they are and is self-assured enough in their own skin to not care what about what others think. 

Easier said than done but once there we feel it.

Shadows

I think that Lindsey Graham almost perfectly personified the self-hating boomer. Feeling forced to live a lie, his frustration was then channeled into a cynical and hypocritical conservatism that said: 

"If I can't live in authenticity, I will make sure you don't either" 

He certainly wasn't the only one and many people of his generation lived in the shadows only to slowly see subsequent generations begin to free themselves as things progressed. 

Conservatism in its most distasteful cultural guise is about frustration and grievance. It isn't joyful or advancing society but instead dour and whiny. 

It is about making sure others know their place especially if one is particularly unhappy with their own life.

Hope to be wrong

My son asked my opinion about femboys yesterday. He had them summarized rather well as young men who enjoy feminization but don't necessarily have core gender identity questioning or conflicts. 

I told him that many of the older people today who identify as "crossdressers" would likely be femboys and thus live far more openly than they felt allowed to at the same age. 

The femboy aesthetic is generally an ultra feminine and sexualized one; short skirts and all.

I only have one underlying concern regarding some of them which is that the euphoria (or trans joy as they use) that they seem intoxicated with could lead down paths they may potentially regret. 

I hope this isn't the case but I have seen a number of them go down the HRT and body modification path that, by age 40, they may in retrospect look back upon as not their best decision. 

Your twenties are an interesting phase of life but not one necessarily known to be replete with deep personal insight and wisdom. 

Nevertheless, I sincerely and genuinely hope to be proven wrong and will gleefully eat crow if need be.

If I'm still around

Pete Hoekstra is the American ambassador to Canada and a generally reprehensible human being. 

His latest lie was that the recently completed Gordie Howe bridge was not entirely paid for by Canada which of course it was. The plan was for Canada to foot the bill and then to split the collected tolls evenly between Michigan and Ontario. 

Hoekstra wouldn't be in that role were he not MAGA and thus be able to lie as readily as you breathe like his puppet master. You would need to be like Trump to be found acceptable by the regime. 

Even the former Stephen Harper communication director was aghast by the fabrication. Harper led a conservative government which thankfully did not tip into criminality. 

Trump has squandered all of the capital and goodwill that Canadians had for the US. I won't be going back even long after the wicked witch is dead and I am far from being the only one. 

We just don't trust a healthy portion of your electorate.

Maybe I will change my mind after the US get their house in order again if I'm still around.

It takes generations to build trust but far less than that to destroy it.

The Traveller

 

Robby Hoffman on gender dysphoria

Explaining what should be obvious but confuses so many people. The bridges and intersections of sex, gender expression and identity have never been neat and tidy.

Well worth the watch...

Characters

Humans can be at once both deeply complex and deceptively simple beings. I am a keen observer of not only others but of my own behaviour. 

Some people seem to be themselves more readily than others with the risk that their frankness spills over into the blunt and distasteful. 

Conversely, some are so steeped in affectation that they give off an inauthentic air. 

After dealing with so many people over the years, I learned to recognize patterns and could sometimes even see hints of the wounded child we all have underneath. 

For example, the person who constantly dabbles in one upmanship gives away that they are insecure and perhaps weren't listened to as a child. 

The hardest thing about my career wasn't the work itself but instead dealing with the cast of characters and their psychologies as well as my own.

  Coffee house which used to be bank in 1910

Monologue

Studies show that 30 to 50% of people have an inner monologue running through their heads while the rest do not. Instead, the remainder use imagery or concepts they can turn to when they need to access higher cognition. 

Once again we are shown about the neurodiversity that exists in people and how each of us processes thoughts and ideas differently. 

I used to think everyone had a running monologue which has led me to think "lucky for those who don't" because I can't seem to shut mine up :)

Me, myself and I

If we all thought more in terms of "I am myself" we would be better off. 

Regretably, most of us measure ourselves through comparison which means we always fall short of some standard. This happens in every area of human affairs we can think of and is universal. 

Comparison is almost inevitable since we are taught, virtually from birth, how to assimilate. We must then spend decades unlearning this programming so we can become fully ourselves. 

Human insecurity is what drives this thirst to measure up; that and the fear of being alone. We want to be accepted for who we are but are also afraid to stray too far from acceptability of the herd.

In other words, we just can't win.

Par for the course

White Christian nationalism is currently the most dangerous movement in America. It is the US version of the Taliban and if given the chance it would set the country back at least a century. 

Every bit of progress made since the US Civil War would be wiped out. 

Eliminating the right of women to vote is only one of the draconian aims of these people who are capitalizing on end of empire woes to gain converts. 

This is yet another clear sign we are headed for a painful end of cycle to the post WW2 era. As usual, with human idiocy at the forefront. 

Every 80 to 100 years we do something astronomically stupid and then start another cycle of relative prosperity which keeps stupid people quiet and distracted for a while. 

As the US empire continues its inevitable decline, strange things will continue to happen and this one is just par for the course.

The fascinating thing about humanity is that the biggest victims for its sins are usually the ones who least deserve to be.

Collective unconcious

Carl Jung describes the collective unconscious as the whole of inherent universal traits that form part of the human experience.

They are so engrained that we cannot explain them. They simply exist during every era and every culture almost as an archetypal baseline. 

It's as if this unconscious forms part of our DNA. 

Our job is then to distinguish between and arrive at some understanding between personal consciousness and this baked-in portion such that we can achieve life balance.

Enemies

The more we disarm the better. 

Over my life I learned I needed weapons to survive but I am slowly laying them down just enough. I can still possess a bite but I only need one sufficient for means of self-protection. 

I see young transgender people almost daily (at least the ones I am able to detect) with loose and carefree energy which makes complete sense. They've had a less steep hill to climb; something I am extremely glad about. It means that the world has radically changed since I was their age. 

Thus I have slowly realized that advocacy for transgender people need not contain venom I slowly fomented over decades.

I need to drop indignation which just ends up harming only myself. In my deep dive exploration over the years I allowed anger to seep into the process. Yes, I was gaining confidence but at the same time letting some negativity in. 

The world isn't ever going to be completely repairable, but that doesn't mean we should allow our hope or empathy to be affected. 

We can even feel sympathy for people we were certain should be our enemies; especially when we realize they are just as flawed as everyone else if not more.

Progress

Life can often be uncertain and so we tread carefully looking for steady ground where we can find it. Knowing how to proceed isn't always obvious and our choices often unclear. 

However one thing stands out for me in that if we feel we wouldn't go back to a previous stage, we have done the right thing. Even if we aren't perfectly comfortable where we are right now, we are satisfied with the progress made. 

If we can say that about our lives then that iterative process has paid off. 

We may have been a little scared at each step, but we never felt completely stuck because we kept searching for answers and slowly progressed.

Islamic Japan

Idiot...

Time spoken for

The people I know who are not retired operate on a different frequency than mine. Their time is spoken for in advance and many tell me I am fortunate. 

I always say to be careful what they wish for. 

Retirement is not easy if you have been accustomed to action for decades. Suddenly you need to define what your life means outside of all that tumult plus potentially deal with any unresolved personal issues. 

When you get here you permit yourself to be in retrospective mode. You look back on your life and marvel at how you were able to get through all that. 

It's a testament to human perseverance. 

Many people can't wait to get where I am only to realize it's not what they expected. Like everything else, one gets used to it and the novelty eventually wears off. 

Am I aching to return to career? like I need a hole in the head.

However when we stop, meaning and purpose are placed on the table and examined which is why I tell people to think about their change of life in advance.

Ebullient

"How are you darling!" 

She approaches me with a fierce confidence and energy as I stood aimlessly for a moment in the Sephora downtown branch. 

This transgender woman isn't even 30 which helps explain that ebullient attitude. She isn't small as when we are face to face, we are of similar height. 

"Don't mess with my colour" I joke recalling how she helped me find a new shade when their product line had changed. 

"Haha don't you worry" she says as she breezes by me briefly resting a hand on my shoulder.

Then she is off to another customer never dropping her smile.

Emily's last game

One of those scary atheletes...

To an 11

Being transgender involves a life full of second guessing yourself. There is almost no way around it. 

Was I read? Do I "pass"? (a term I hate) Is my voice ok? Should I medically transition? What will my family and friends think? 

The list goes on and on. 

It is the usual human existential angst ramped up to an 11 and no matter your age or life situation there will be plenty of obstacles in the way. 

I wish I could say there was a shortcut but there isn't. The only way is to slowly build a resolve made of steel that has you move forward because stagnating is the scarier of the two options. 

I struggled like everyone else existing within this tiny fraction of humanity but I wouldn't trade climbing uphill for anything. It made me stronger, more resilient and less easily derailed by people whose opinions don't matter. Sometimes that ends up including family and people you thought were your true friends. 

In the end no one can take care of you like yourself. You can hope to get assistance but you cannot count on it as a guarantee. 

I've learned a lot about humanity in my life; enough to know that the general public is far more short-sighted and far less intelligent than I thought. It's helped me to let many of them go and to choose more wisely. 

It's also taught me to be kinder to myself.

Justice

Belgium did the world a favour yesterday. 

By defeating the United States at the world cup they eliminated the possibility of having that team's victory be stained by corruption. It also gave the rest of us the chance to enjoy a little satisfaction in witnessing yet again that whatever Trump touches turns rancid. 

FIFA's nefarious shenanigans are well documented and seeing Infantino handing the criminal Trump a fake peace prize made us all more than a little queazy. It made the US elimination yesterday feel all the more just. 

The striker Balogun is of Nigerian extraction and holds 3 citizenships. He was born in the US which is what qualified him for the team. The irony is that the very same birthright citizenship granted by the 14th ammendment is what Trump wanted the supreme court to overturn. 

You can't make this stuff up.

"Help me"

In a sense, having all gender variant behaviour today fall under the banner of 'trans' is a bit unfortunate if only because we can lose track of where our focus should be. 

No one argues against diversity and letting people be who they are. What we want is an open society where people can be authentic which regretably is still an unattained target. 

We should want primarily to help those who need assistance. This means the focus should be on people who are struggling with identity issues who don't know or have access to how to address them. 

The other day at the thrift store my daughter saw a very confident gender variant person of approximately her age who wasn't disguising their birth sex. They were simply expressing themselves in a feminine manner including sporting traditional women's clothing. 

From her vantage point this young person didn't seem to need help. They were self-assured; certainly as much as anyone else in the store which I love to see as does my daughter.

I have a retired friend who I consider to be representative of the public. The nuance of the topic is lost on him because he hasn't had to think about it much over his life. I've had to patiently explain things to him which he then forgets. I find most people are like this and certainly my 90 year old mother (who is sympathetic) also is. 

Gender criticals pounce on this confusion on every case which suits their cause to point out the folly of playing with a rigid binary which only existed because it was so strictly enforced. 

However, I always go back to the most important and fundamental issue here which is: do you need help determining who you are?

I certainly did. Now I'm just old and cranky.