Avoiding stereotypes

One of the things which helped me tremendously as a transgender person was dropping the idea of stereotypes involving men and women. I had been brought up during an era of very rigid gender norms and had ingested them without question especially after being scolded by my mother in early childhood. My long journey towards self-acceptance involved rebranding myself with my own style of femininity which my friend Patricia calls natural.

As a last ditch effort to avoid transition, many transsexuals tried to embrace more masculine ideals and would join the army or adopt traditional male pursuits to demonstrate a virility that ultimately wasn't them. Yet even if we do not intend to physically transition, we need to drop a social facade and embrace who we are.

For me, trying to live a more stereotypical male existence (although as an artist I was never trying to be macho) involved suppressing natural instincts to avoid detection. By repatriating them I was able to begin to live authentically without becoming a caricature of a woman which is the last thing I would ever want. This got me to the point where today many people do not know that I am transgender although this was never a specific goal of mine.

As one settles slowly into the self, we achieve a natural baseline which requires no further thought since it is not forced. Instead, we are not pretending to be someone else but are simply being ourselves.