Living more on instinct

There's a very nice lady who sometimes serves me at the Premiere Moisson and affectionately calls women girls. When I visited recently she said "Hey girl I love your dress". Then when the older manager asks for help at the cash register she jumps in and says "I gotcha girl". She is probably about 10 years younger than myself and has a nervous energy I like.

People are interesting and they will give you glimpses into their personality when you get them chatting. She tells me as I pay that her children are 20 and 17 and her son still keeps her busy with his sporting tournaments but she knows she will lose him soon to a detachment that has instilled itself in my increasingly mature 24 year old.

I am learning to be more genuinely inquisitive about people and have become less quickly dismissive of them with life experience. At the same time I am much quicker to defend myself against entitled behaviour of people who are adept and accustomed to being bullish.

Living as a female is relaxing me and made me more open. You become yourself, eliminate self-conciounness and just live. Gender becomes less important to you because you are no longer mired in trying to find a solution to what once was a dilemma. You can now rely on reflex tempered with a little caution. The science continues to interest me of course.

What I like is that I no longer need to analyze everything I do and can subsist on a well-placed, seasoned and calm instinct.