A glimpse from the outside

Every once in a while we get a glimpse of what we look like to others. Not in the physical sense but more in behaviour which can then spur reflection on what we may be doing right or wrong. Everyone lives within a filter and sometimes it's nice to get even a small view from the outside. 

I've thought about my life more than ever since I retired and I can recognize patterns I fell into. They may have served me well during the busy years of career and child rearing but they then become things to repair after I stepped off the merry-go-round. There was a forced aggressiveness that I no longer need but am happy I can count on when required. 

Living more authentically has also lessened the need for over-compensation to avoid discovery which relaxes you greatly. That in turn encourages reflection on whether reflexive responses were really me or instead part of the mask worn for the world. 

This current life suits me more than I had anticipated which is why the character I once presented is being analyzed a bit. I know I am happier because I feel it and the amount of smiles I receive is a reflection of the energy I am putting out into the world.

Relaxing into my feminine energy has made my overall presentation much more authentic I think because it no longer needs to be compartmentalized. It just organically lives and breathes as I needs to without being forced.

I had breakfast with Louise yesterday and she told me that I looked like a happy woman and one day I will tell her specifically why.