Pillow

All my life I have tended to have a type A personality which means I lean towards being goal oriented, perfectionist and impatient. I think about this as I reflect on how personalities mesh in relationships whether amorous or platonic. 

There are people I adore I know I could not live with and after 2 weeks one of us would be smothered with a pillow in their sleep. Rather than let that happen, we see each other in small doses and share time together to catch up on life. 

With age we most assuredly become more set in our ways because we understand both ourselves as well as others. We recognize archetypes much more readily and read between the lines of their behaviour and statements. We become set in our roots but still desire flexibility to change our minds and be ready to be proven wrong on occasion because it's good for our humility.

Those who have been partnered for a long time are used to the rhythms, the communication style as well what lines which should not be crossed. But when older, introducing someone new can upset the balance we have achieved and like. We know something important to us will likely be jettisoned. 

I am self sufficient (I learned to be) and my impatience with ineptitude was probably crafted through being demanding with myself. I dare not fail in my ability to perform well in society while keeping my mask perfectly intact. My parents had tough lives and were demanding with us as well as with themselves and this is what I absorbed.. 

In the end, we are complicated and often restless beings because it is in our nature.

Careful with that pillow.