Let it go Joanne

At this point it's obvious Joanne needs some trauma therapy....

Not a blue rectangle

If I took a random sampling of 100 people and asked them what the term transgender meant I would get very varied answers but why? 

Well, besides the obvious lack of education among the general public which would invite and yield some ludicrous responses, even some gender variant people would find different ways to define it based on their own assessment of self. Some would say the term didn't fit them at all.

It's not like asking someone to describe an object. I have a blue rectangle in front of me which measures 4 X 6 inches which everyone would agree on without exception (unless they were color blind). 

My point is that definitions on matters which involve much subtlety are open to interpretation because they deal in greys. Therefore the definition doesn't mean as much as it could given that it also does not provide any guidelines about how to live. It is a descriptor which doesn't necessarily offer us an authenticity only we can provide. 

We first come up with our authenticity plan and then, if we like, come up with a label to match it.

Or not.

Unapologetic

Fair taxation will never return to the US which will be its downfall before the big reset happens which pays for the sins of globalization. Consider that in the 1950's you could be a millionaire but paid hefty taxes as a percentage of your earnings. Today the country does the reverse and money flows upwards while Rome burns. 

It is an unapologetic oligarchy. 

MAGA voters, who are largely ignorant, and thought the idiot Trump would lower the price of groceries are in for a very rude wakeup call.

I will take the routine

Going to Sephora yesterday was uneventful and yet it served as another point of comparison with my past history. I have been a customer for years primarily purchasing their in-house brand foundation which I use increasingly sparingly as I age. 

I went from being petrified of going inside to having it be a routine visit I now make about every 6 to 8 weeks. Yesterday was just more confirmation about how uneventful such stops have become and how devoid of anxiety they are. I am a customer like everyone else and look around to take in my surroundings than worry about who might be looking at the tall lady. 

I waited in line and took note of a young woman browsing who was my height; a sighting which has become increasingly commonplace as youth get taller. I was then signaled to come to the counter where I was greeted by a twenty-something with very subtle makeup on her face. 

"Joanna?" She says looking up at me after entering my number into the system. 

"Yes" I answer and then add that they shouldn't play with their color palette as it took me some trial and error to settle on it. 

"Oh I know, they have been making changes" she responds stopping short of an eye roll. 

Just then the young man who had helped me the last time to switch from the 27P to the 30P shade whizzes by and says "Hey!" while flashing me a friendly smile. 

"Happy with the change?" to which I say yes and then adds to the woman serving me "she has olive skin" 

There was no drama, no excitement but there was more importantly calm and serene confidence which contrasted sharply against my first ever visit years ago. 

I will take that feeling of routine any day of the week.

Potty mouth granny

Between Naughty Nana and the Romano Report I will have some good company in the outrage department over the next four disastrous years in US politics to come.

Yes, she has a potty mouth but she is 100% correct in calling out the lies and the hypocrisy.

Not your average mild-mannered grandma to be sure ;)....

Romano report

I very much share his sentiments. His passion makes me feel better about the coming clown show...

Risk

Were older not yet fully actualized transgender people necessarily a bad choice as a life partner? No. 

Might they sometimes have been a risky one? Yes.

Don't I know it.

I don't despair

Recently in New York, an undocumented Guatemalan man lit a homeless woman on fire and burned her beyond recognition as she quietly slept in her subway car. A few days later a young man was also pushed onto the tracks as an incoming train arrived by a 23 year old for no apparent reason as they did not know each other. This latter victim will live. 

It's a sign of the era we live in where desperation and isolation are helping to foster mental illness. Here in Montréal there is now a number to text in case of trouble inside the metro network. I have never seen so many people talking to themselves in my lifetime. 

At the same time I don't despair for the future because of the social inroads we have made where we have liberated many people from their chains. The problem is that besides the social progress we also need guardrails which must be founded on fairness and social justice which sees people regain hope for their future.

Self worth

Our self worth and confidence stem from authenticity. Once we know who we are we don't need to convince anyone of anything. Opinions are discarded unless they happen to be helpful to us. 

If we aren't sure of ourselves we will always be susceptible to being swayed by others. Their judgement might be enough to detail us. 

Confidence doesn't manifest in bravado. It can live in humility and kindness because we are happy at our core and have nothing to prove to anyone except to ourselves. We are therefore more open to others. 

We can be free to relax into the self.

Not easily fixed

The American experiment is on the brink of failing as late stage capitalism works to an inevitable conclusion. Once constant growth can no longer be sustained the model breaks down and we are seeing the results among the population. 

2024 saw the highest rare of homeless people ever in the country and with stagnant wages you can be employed but still be forced to live in your car and forego health insurance. It's nice to say that the stock market is healthy but those on the lower rung have enough trouble buying groceries never mind investing. 

Neither Trump or Harris could solve this problem easily and the GOP will only make things worse by pandering to those who already have the most wealth. 

The only good news is that MAGA imbecile infighting will intensify as ignorant voters discover what they actually bought and the different interests within the right collide against each other. It will be messy, embarrassing and unfortunately costly for those who can least afford it. 

Unbridled capitalism worked for a while as the country expanded but now it is past its peak and the cracks are showing. Canada too is experiencing similar but less grave impacts.

The conclusion? Humans aren't fixable. What a surprise.

Hidden

Over time it began to really irritate me that I was leading a dishonest life. Hiding who I was grated on the nerves as I got closer to my core identity. Granted, my generation didn't have many options in the way of societal support or solid information growing up, but as I became more educated in the subject matter and less concerned about public opinion, it became crucial to come out which I did slowly and progressively over the years. 

If your version of gender variance isn't deeply tied to identity maybe you can get by without any reveal. But for me it became absolutely mandatory because otherwise it signified that I was ashamed of who I was.

Others don't get to choose or judge who we are. They just need to get with the program.

Suzuki retires

Canadian environmentalist and television icon retires after over 40 years of hosting CBC's "The Nature of Things". Well deserved David ;)

Third spaces

Third spaces have largely disappeared. Whether that was church, clubs, associations or some other group, people are more keeping to themselves than ever and foregoing social structures that used to feed the social fabric. 

Technology is of course largely responsible and as more things were done online, it became easier to push a button than physically interact. Even the process of finding a life partner became about swiping left or right. 

At first this seemed to simplify our lives but over time the psychological impacts began to be felt. Anxiety and depression rates increased as people felt the effects of isolation which were greatly magnified during the pandemic. One of the largest studies ever conducted on happiness showed that health and friendships are the only important contributors to wellness once out basic needs of food and lodging are met. More money does absolutely nothing.

As a retired person who mostly lives alone (my 26 year old daughter constantly comes and goes) I work on making human contact through friendships, acquaintances and talking to strangers. It helps feed that primordial need we all have for connection. 

To reverse our current problems we will need to rebuild social networks which involve face to face interaction or continue to face the consequences.

Happy New Year

I saw the young transgender woman briefly all smiles and sunshine loudly wish the staff at the McDonald's counter a happy new year. It was the only place open and I needed my coffee fix. She was hard to miss as she whisked by me on her way out.  Without a doubt she was under 30.

She was tall and made no attempt to disguise a voice clearly in the male register. The confidence was very palpable and infectious. 

I always go back to the issue of avoiding trauma from early programming as being pivotal. The sooner it is addressed or avoided altogether, the greater the likelihood of leading a well-adjusted life in the open. That being said, it is never too late to become ourselves.

When I see transgender youth in the wild my viewpoint is constantly being confirmed and, should I sometimes feel tempted to get a little down and self-indulgent about my own long and very challenging history getting here, they pick me right up. God bless their little hearts.

Happy New Year.