Rather than get frustrated with extended family, the best thing for older transgender people is to work on our internal fortitude. We aren't going to convert everyone to the extent that we would like not to mention that the connection might not have been that strong to begin with and not worth being overly concerned with when it suffers even more.
It's like you have lived two lives. One was the younger version of yourself they got to know and now you need to reintroduce the person you always were underneath but couldn't reveal. That process can be difficult because you have enough trouble dealing with your own psyche but must also navigate the opinions and judgement of others to boot.
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