Pores

I used to say fake it till you make but that felt and was wrong. For there was too much mental energy channeled into posturing instead of fortifying the self. 

It turns out that people are looking for a secure person more than someone who passes the gender sniff test. In other words you must know who you are which will then percolate out through your pores. 

People can tell and it eventually made all the difference. 

If all else fails I have a fully-functional nasty side ;)