Where do I stop?

One of the most difficult questions for a transgender person to answer is where they need to stop in their journey to authenticity. Do they transition socially, can they settle for living part time, only take hormones or also add surgical options some of which might only include facial surgery. 

There is no simple or wrong answer only yours but for a time it can expend much mental energy. 

The only thing I can tell you from my personal experience is that your psychology is overwhelmingly more important than anything else. Before you undertake any physical changes you should focus on that and it was solving that riddle which lifted the clouds to make my way forward very clear. 

Older people often have a tough road because so many life obstacles painted them into almost catch 22 scenarios where a step in either direction meant failure on some front. They also have much deeper and more pervasive programming over disobeying the gender norms they grew up with which often hold them hostage to fear.

I have always preached deep introspection before acting and understanding lived history to determine where your core motivation lies. Does this difference date back to childhood and a disconnect which needs addressing or is your variance more rooted and leans towards needing flexibility for gender expression. 

Without undertaking this process, decisions will risk being the wrong ones. Here patience will be a massive asset as well as the disregard for public opinion which includes extended family.

One thing I know for certain: living in fear isn't the answer.