Good to yourself

I'm going to say that most people aren't sufficiently good to themselves. We are wired to please (some of us more than others) and we will deny personal needs to our own detriment. 

This lesson hits hardest once we retire and the world slows down for us just enough that we can reflect on how our formula wasn't working. The people who used to depend on our efforts are less to be found and the realization becomes more stark. 

It isn't just transgender people (although they tend to be chronic pleasers) but anyone who was taught that duty and responsibility came before the self. This is a great quality to have and yet it can tip in the direction of putting yourself last. 

I don't put myself last any longer and it has bolstered my sense of self. The hard part became figuring out where the needs of others bled into a denial of self which threatened both my authenticity and my self-respect. 

Love of self isn't narcissistic although for some people it can be. It should be about protecting a spirit that dwells within us which then breeds a joy we can extend to others.