Setting ultimatums in a relationship can very dangerous and recently I reflected on this because it threatened to impact my daughter and her boyfriend.
These are lines in the sand which threaten to end things if the other person doesn't comply. It can be viewed as emotional blackmail or in the best of cases a way to shake someone awake to the seriousness of a situation.
"If you don't stop drinking I will leave you" could be seen as an ultimatum cloaked in good intention but still risk the other person taking you up on it. It's why I don't favor them as tactic and prefer negotiation without the suspended dagger looming overhead.
Boundaries within the confines of relationships depend on the tolerance level of each person and some will see them crossed and not react. The respect is then possibly lost which could then signal the beginning of the end.
Almost nothing is as complicated as the dynamics within couplehood and where diplomacy calls for much water being added to one's wine.
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