I think it was Schopenhauer who said that we cannot trust intellect alone; that wisdom is also nested in living in the moment and knowing when to stop analyzing to simply experience. We eventually understand that not everything comes with a ready solution which emerges after repeated reflection. Life comes with a fluid chaos naturally baked in.
Living one day at a time without future bias is difficult because existential angst sees us imagine some better scenario down the road which typically never comes.
I think one of the reasons some have trouble with retirement is they imagined a state where everything would be resolved and the little hamster in the brain would stay quiet when, if anything else, the extra time only invites more ruminating.
I am retired. And retirement has not been what I expected from how I imagined it years ago. I thought I would have trouble filling the time. Maybe watching a bunch of movies and playing video games.
ReplyDeleteInstead I spent countless hours of introspection without being interrupted by life stuff. This introspection was very much needed. I needed the time. And spent countless hours reading transgender "origin stories" to see how my experiences compared to others. It was pretty eye opening. It really helped.
-Christina
My retirement has turned out to be the last bit of clean up to make sense of my past and begin the last chapter of true authenticity and clarity like I have never had before. It's turning out to be just what the doctor ordered. If you aren't prepared for it however it can have you facing uncomfortable questions you had always hoped to avoid.
Delete