Human beings are motivated orimarily by love and fear. This is why we search for approval, huddle into groups but also tend to fear and sometimes hate what we don't understand. Our psychology is built on this fundamental paradigm.
Even if you are a secure person yourself you will run into others who aren't and must navigate their insecurity through tactics we are forced to learn in life.
People build personal narratives to protect themselves from the world but they can be erroneous and limiting and because we feel compelled to comply to the rules, we are left with only a partial portrait of who we are or could be. It is like viewing life through a foggy lens.
Those of us who don't fit neatly (or at all) into boxes that meet cultural norms are left with the challenge of how much neck to stick out before we are spotted and ridiculed. We are tired and no longer want to live in fear of the herd.
What should help us is the knowledge that most people are deeply afraid of leading authentic lives and hence we are not damaged goods but instead people looking to break out of what was imposed upon us.
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