Curbing your enthusiasm

When gender variant people talk about curbing their behaviour they are primarily referring to expression. After all, your identity cannot be altered because you are who you are. It simply is. 

Curbing identity could instead be better referred to as repression. 

For example, many older gender variant and transgender people want to stay married and will limit their expression to within the confines established by their union. 

The problem arises when identity is ramped up as the governing factor and choice is steadily removed from the equation. Then we start talking about potential episodes of depression and anxiety over the long haul.

Therefore when we refer to self control we first need to try to understand as much as possible where our motivation originates. Otherwise we cannot know whether control is even warranted or desirable without there being consequences which could include health repercussions. 

Younger people are fortunate enough to be able to solve this problem by eliminating secrecy from the outset irrespective of where they lie on the expression-identity axis. 

However, for older people who may have gotten accustomed to repression and self-rejecting behaviour over decades, the answer becomes considerably more complex.

Oh boy, do I know this firsthand.