Going back

Going back to a place you haven't been to in a long time while sporting a very different mindset can provide us with a barometer of how far we have traveled. 

Before my son and I met up yesterday to see "The Odyssey" I got off at a REM stop perfectly located in front of a mall I hadn't been to in many years. I normally don't like malls but it was brutally hot and humid and the cool air was just what the doctor ordered. 

Beginning in my early 20's this mall had served as part of a testing ground to figure out who I was. Yes, I had first ventured out of the house in my late teens but this had been one big step up and it was here I first encountered and dealt with people who didn't know I was transgender.

Come to think of it, I didn't know either for it was the 1980's and the language we use so readily today was barely formulated and still very much in its infancy.

This place provided me with the beginnings of courage to explore further outside of a comfort zone I had no clue had so much more room for expansion. 

Walking back in there now felt like nothing special. There was no build up of nerves that have long disappeared and I simply took notes of the many changes the place had undergone. 

After 20 minutes I made my way back to the REM and one stop later was perfectly timed to see my son walking in to the theater just seconds before me. 

You don't want to go home again. You want to move forward but this last minute decision on my part gave me more insight than I had expected as a looking glass into my past.