Do I trust people? Regretably no. My life experience has taught me not to.
It's a shame this happens to us but over our lifetime we are met with deception, malice and insecurity which burns off any remaining innocence we still retained.
The more we are marked by life, the more we will be hard pressed to come back to a balance that removes the jaded fatigue we have for people in general.
We want to get some of that wonder and openness back which requires we let our guard down more than we think is wise.
Trust implies confidence that the other person has our best interest at heart and that no hidden agenda exists on their part. We also count on a lack of erratic behaviour which can keep us guessing as to when the next crisis point will arrive.
Trust must be earned and not given away so readily because I have seen too many incidents of both inadvertent and deliberate nature.
Some people come with so much drama attached to them that they become a magnet for do-gooders ready to help repair them. They move from one unwitting victim to another until they are finally discovered.
We all crave someone who gets us which comes with effort from both parties plus the willingness to drop our deadliest weapons on the floor.
I am sorry to say that I do understand what you are saying here.
ReplyDeleteThis is not only about people who willfully and deliberately exploit or betray you. This is also about the fact that all humans are flawed beings struggling hard to cope in a worlds that can be both chaotic, oppressive and violent, and in such a world it is easy for them to set themselves first. And even if this is not deliberate, we have the ability to fool ourselves.
It can also be hard to know what a friend truly needs, and we have a tendency of projecting our own life experience onto others. All of this leads to a lot of misunderstanding.
I believe this was at the core of the insights of people like Jesus and Buddha: We have to live with the darkness, the self-deceit and the suffering.
The good thing is that when there is wisdom and a will to do good, people can actually help each other for real. Such friendships may be rare, but they are possible.
Our challenge is to remain aware of human imperfection including our own and to work past the cynicism. We've been burned before but can now work with the knowledge we possess in a constructive way rather than dismiss people outright. We are all wounded in some way and I opt for giving benefit of the doubt while keeping just enough guard up to protect my integrity and self-respect
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